I need air to breathe, space to think in
I just need to get away, away from all the drama
I wish there was a way to let you know
I am still in love with you and that I always will be
I know one day I'm gonna cut too deep
or take just one too many pills
between suicide thoughts and life I'm torn
I don't know what I want anymore
The girl I see has quit fighting and all she wants is to die
I start to realize that girl is me
I don't know why I trusted you after all the things I saw
but now baby my love for you is gone
which path is the better choice?
should I keep holdin on or should I jus let go?
every night I'm on the floor
gettin closer to suicides door
Every time I take a look at my life
I just wanna pick up a knife
because I see and feel the hurt
you left my heart in
beatin hearts
racing thoughts
I dont know what's come over me
Reluctantly the days wither into nothing,
but past mistakes and future dreams.
As each day passes,
you slowly rip my heart out by the seams.
Take me into your arms
can you feel the deathly grasp?
Kiss my pale lips
can you taste the poison?
He walks away…whistling…. like nothing ever
happened at all.
Revenge has devoured me
Author notes
I took little bits of some of my works and combined them together to make this I dont know why or how i come up with it but I like it =] tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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confusing in a good way
Well I see some people already pointed out your grammatical errors so I won’t say anything about those
Besides some misspelled words I like it, it IS a little confusing, which again some one already mentioned, but I think it kinda added to the emotion in the poem. Feeling scattered ya know?
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"should I keep holdin on or should I jus let go?" holdin should be holding and jus should be just.
"gettin closer to suicides door" gettin should be getting
Other then this the poem was very well written I could see and feell everything you felt. I really enjoyed it very much so. I like how you put it all. Thank you for sharing. -
I wrote this when i was going through a time liek this in my life maybe this wil help you but anyways i thnk i thad a lot of emotion
they listen to music that screams so they dont have to
they cut becuase they cant handle life
they fall in love to easy they have regrets that are their fault completly
they dont want to be alone
they would rather have someone slit their throat than have that again
but life goes on
wat happens, happens
and after you face the truth you will have to move on
for the simple fact of sanity
there will always be someone new
so live life wiht no fear of new love
but one day things will catch up to you and you will be broken hearted where tears dont fill any pain
so you will be right back where you started
but live a new day tears will never fill that pain but the memories will keep you alive but it will stop hurting
one day soon i promise
somebody loves you
somebody cares
someone new or old and lost will come and find you and take you away from all of ur pain
just keep breathing
take one great breath and hold it. make a wish
dont let go of it
believe in it
love will come again. it might not be the same
but its love. life moves on even when the pain come with it
so live your life knowing that someone will screw up
it might be you?
but real love will last forever no matter wat even if your not together
but you got to move on somehow just keep breathing
your wish will come true if u want it to
live your life like ever second is ur last
just keep breathing -
Ummm...
Well, the subject of the poem is soooo confused, it leaves the reader in the same state of mind. First, there is undying love, then despair and suicidal thoughts and then moving on to longing and ending in vengeful thoughts. Waht is it that the subject really wants? Well, that's what the reader has to figure out. Complicated thoughts in simple language. Good. Consider changing the font colour? It's strains the eyes of readers (including you, maybe)
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Hey sis
I don't know what I want anymore
The girl I see has quit fighting and all she wants is to die
I start to realize that girl is me
I don't know why I trusted you after all the things I saw
but now baby my love for you is gone
which path is the better choice?
should I keep holdin on or should I jus let go?
every night I'm on the floor
gettin closer to suicides door
Every time I take a look at my life
I just wanna pick up a knife
because I see and feel the hurt
you left my heart in
beatin hearts
racing thoughts
I dont know what's come over me
Reluctantly the days wither into nothing,
but past mistakes and future dreams.
As each day passes,
you slowly rip my heart out by the seams.
Take me into your arms
can you feel the deathly grasp?
Kiss my pale lips
can you taste the poison?
He walks away…whistling…. like nothing ever
happened at all.
Revenge has devoured me
Alsome I loved this poem its alsome and beautiful job wel written and well done. U have great talent keep up the marvelous job n keep da ink flowing sis. Love reading ya poetry. I know i havent bein to ya page in a while. I being going through alot theses past couple of months and days. How are u doing? hope al is okay with you. Wel things with me not going so good. I jus bein basically cryin and writing on my poetry page. jus miss my hunni..wel enways enoughbou dat. Once again alsome work...wish i had more applauds i give them to ya this poem is very outstanding job.
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Amazing what one can do when they put their mind to it.
This flows just like it was written all at one time. Each line just seems to flow right into the other.
Amazing how the first line and the last line compliments each other especially when they were taken from two different poems.
Good Job I like it very much.
ED.
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