Reaping the pain,
death comes to dine,
desecrates life
absorbing the shine.
Pinched lungs twitch
liquid runs dry,
thin membranes contort
whisper goodbye.
Pumping veins throb
feel the cold night,
watch how darkness
swallows all light.
Cranial combustion
exploding each cell,
licking starved lips
he sends you to hell.
Author notes
Prompt: 12~ "The world has lost its light" Dunno why, just sparked.
Picture credit: Raphael: Angel of Agony by ~kaav
A contest entry
- It's Only A Little Razor Burn.... by Jaymy.
750 points, ended October 8, 2008, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The darkwrite Challenge Returns by Ktulu Blackwolfe.
800 points, ended October 11, 2008, 31 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Cold death spelled out excellently.
Buddy
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Love this too...
Such a dark & descriptive narrative assuring thrills & chills throughout...
And such images in my head before bedtime, although I wouldn't have it any other way. lol!
Another great piece...
Well done!!!
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Love the pic that seems to fit the story told here. Well done. You really have a way with words.
**Ktulu Blackwolfe** -
That was a great discription of dying. Never heard it put that way.. Verry verry good..
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Brilliant !!
I love this!! It's fantastic!! The images are just so stark and raw.. and the emotion flows darkly through this piece!! Fantastic writing hunny... and.. well you know the rest bestie
♥
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very nice job on the rhyming... not too much, not too little, and it flows beautifully. This is an incredibly vivid picture you're painting, and I'm impressed at where you took teh prompt. well done!
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Have I told you lately how brilliant you are??? You always seem to nail this genre so perfectly!! Morbidity just seeps from the page...Wonderfully dark!! Best of wishes......
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My friend, my friend, my friend, i bow before your grace of the dark art hidden in your pen, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
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Wow... this is... vivid. I am thoroughly impressed, this is certainly a compelling piece of poetry. This wasn't so much the world lost its light than it was forcibly taken. Thank you for the entry!
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