There once was a soul, trapped in a cold world
Alone with just his thoughts and a love for a girl
He dug his own grave and others agree
He made these mistakes but thinks it shouldn't be
Tossing and turning on long endless nights
A feeling of bitter cold haunts him for the rest of his life
As he sits up out of bed and looks out into the sky
He wonders if she'd cried if he took his own life
For he thought about it long and with serious intent
He grabbed up his gun and soon he would commit
For what kind of life does he have?
To forever be alone, his thoughts to drive him mad
He stares down the barrel of his only friend
The only comfort in a world that would never seem to end
It only brings him pain to know where he went wrong
And to know that nothing could be bring back what he lost
He had come the conclusion that the only way
To ever be happy was to take it all away
He contemplates this choice, considering the facts
His family could deal without him ever coming back
For when he thinks about his life and how much a burden he's been
The voice in his head tells him to pull the trigger and it will end
They are all better off without you around
They all can do much more without someone dragging them down
The rings of a gunshot echo through the night
He finally found the courage to make things right
Author notes
kermie4201
A contest entry
- Dark Poetry Lovers by SmokinHotWhiteTiger.
600 points, ended October 15, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Thank You For Entering
Well this is a very well penned crafty poem and I liked how you pieced this poem together. your words flow with such nice grace and elegance and yet the over all image of the poem is refreshing. I liked the depth and the flow to the piece and the way you did this. anyw ays good work and good luck
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well thank you. i reall appreciate it the feedback.
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Wow, this is powerfully sad. A very well crafted piece, thoughts and emotions are portrayed well. The presentation is a little off putting, being one big block, but certainly worth reading! Good luck in the contest
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Well thank you for your feedback and for the luck, and i see what you mean about the block, now that I think about it. I almost didn't understand what you were trying to say at first.
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Your welcome, just looks a little off putting you know But so pleased I read it as its very good
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