Should I go back to Washington?
A place of misguided dreams
Along with a love that will never show me
What her affection really means
Should I even have bothered?
Should I have even tried?
Not knowing the truth may hurt
But it’s better than knowing of emotions that died
The sun seems to set in a different place than before
The clouds have reappeared with the coming of a storm
And as I gaze upon the stars which gracefully float away
I realize they are like the memories of my perfect yesterday
I’ve been trapped in a place
Alone in the void of my mind
Here the walls keep on rising
While the clock still bleeds time
I’ve been searching for you all along
Even though where you are
Is exactly where I left you
I can’t help but feel you have gone so far
I’d wish the sun would go back to its original nesting place
Up in a sky so beautiful, untouched by shame or disgrace
The stars would be so much closer than they are today
And I’d have back those memories of my perfect yesterday
Author notes
kermie4201
A contest entry
- Best Poems Ever by Scion.
900 points, ended October 27, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Missing Me, Missing You by ms-cuddles.
900 points, ended October 21, 2008, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Touching
I've been here too many times to count. This write has touched my heart and started me reflecting of a dwindled flame. Thank you for this. Thanks for entering and good luck. Hugs~ Cuddles -
"Should I go back to Washington?"
Yes, you should.
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I think the sadness you are expressing has been expressed in every art form and every tearful song. But you, yes you, do it so uniquely and brilliantly sorrowful that I can't help but re-read it again.
You're first lines simply caught me and would not let me go:
"A place of misguided dreams
Along with a love that will never show me
What her affection really means"
and these won't let me sleep tonight:
"Here the walls keep on rising
But the clock still bleeds time"
Structure is collective. Punctuation is acceptible. Your theme is clear (heard before) but presented so explicitly and creatively. Cheers.
My score:
R-9
T-8.5
TH-8.7
S-8.7
U-8.8
G-8.6
ttl-52.3 -
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well thank you again for your very insightful comment. it brings me joy to read the kind of effect it had on you. And the lines
"Here the walls keep on rising
But the clock still bleeds time"
seems to be everybody who read this favorite part. Again thank you.
But i fear that going back to that place might be too difficult of a task to undergo. -
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You are inexplicably welcome. Truly. My honor to read. Oh, and it's because those lines are the most amazing 12 words that have been strung together.. that I have ever seen.
Take time to return. This one is for hope. Cheers.
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