The extra shifts from day to day
Even that can not make you stay
Your breath is short and hours few
No gold can buy a breath for you
Even that can not make you stay
So I'll not go to work today
The time I’ll spend with you my love
And pray for grace from up above
Your breath is short and hours few
I’ll trade all things to be with you
To hear you laugh and see you smile
Will make my suff'ring all worth while
No gold can buy a breath for you
Time is precious, my love is true
Moments are costly, yet so few
I'll trade it all to be with you
Author notes
Username: Rebekah-Ann 
In a list
A contest entry
- Give me your very best!!!! Tons of points! by God is my reality.
1750 points, ended December 1, 223 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
.
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Ok, this is probably my second fav of yours so far, though the picture seems to be contradictory to the poems message. In the end nothing can buy time, nothing can be as precious as loving and caring for one who is ill. It is then that we see how unimportant everything but love is. We would trade it all to keep the one we love here with us.
Poignant, painful, but mostly romantic.
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Awesome write
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great piece. such amazing emotions and imagery.
BRAVO! good luck in the contest!
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Very convincing
Such words are more worthy than gold.
Everything can be traded for the true spirit of love.
I become your fan instantly. -
amazing.
"no gold can buy a breath for you"
wow.
just...wow.
^-^
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I love this piece and the beautiful flow you have used in this wonderful rhyming poem, i love how you say that no gold can buy a breath for you and how you are willing to give up everything of yours to be with this special person, im sure this person would give everything to be with you cuss you are the best keep writing, ~Amy
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Y-E-S
Wonderful poetry
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What a beautiful love poem you have written here... How I'd love to experience that feeling again as well..
Thank you for entering the contest!
Leander -
What a thought you have created here with so much passion as well as the truth around the words of this wonderful poetry..This bings me a realisation also along the view of the lovers..a thought provoking piece is here with a strong message around..well done..and thanks for sharing it... -
A superbly constructed retourne, filled with the feelings of love. Wonderful writing!
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I love how it rhymes, flows, makes perfect sense, and yet touches my heart. Normally I prefer more imagery, but this poem was everything without putting alot of specifics. I think you were right to do that, because alot of details would have slowed it down and taken away from the purity of the poem and the poet. Many thanks for a poem that has made me smile.
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it hit home good one
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I think you have hit a homerun. Welcome to the finalist list.
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I'm so excited! Thank you!
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oh this was so beautiful; it's the type of poem that you could read over and over again, i would love to see something like in a book or on an illustration or something, it's just - flawless!
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Loved your take on the prompt. Excellent retourne. Well chosen lines of the first stanza flow smoothly into the thoughts of the following quatrains. Touching write on the sometimes painful circumstances that bring us clarity about our real priorities in life.
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Aangesien jy van SA is
net so ietsie in Afrikaans. 'n Praggedig wat mooi vloei en deur betekenisvolle woordgebruik gerugsteen word. I especially enjoyed the last stanza, as it provides the crescendo. Frans
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I must admit that I was unfamiliar with the Retourne form - it reads almost like a Vilannelle, and if this is how one writes it, the way you did, then I am impressed! This is a beautiful poem with such a smooth, lyrical quality about it. Truly lovely and I'm happy that I could read this today.
~ Nicolette
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I love this beautiful poem ...
and the refrains reinforced the message. Often the beloved brings offers beyond measure to be with the soul that holds the all ... especially if the All is present, too.
Well done, Poetess. You should do well in this contest.
Love
Myra
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All dedicated love
This poem of yours is lovely and all dedicated selflessly. I feel God or Almighty only is entitled to get this love since He is only selfless and permanent.
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It has been a long time hasn't it love? You must forgive me for being away for so long. I have to say though this was a fantastic way to be reminded of your poetry. I adored that picture. It's extremely moving and powerful and your words to follow are just... flawless. You did an incredible job with this piece. Well done. And good luck.
P.S. Give Aneka a kiss for me? -
Great Job!!
This has such a sweet ring to it... Nice work...
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beautiful!
aaww..so sweetly touching my friend, and very nicely done Retourne! good luck in the contest.
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