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Torn

Living this life
It is well with my soul,
But my wedding vows made
Just don't fill that hole.
And as I let him draw near
I struggle and fight,
Being hollow with pain
Telling what's wrong from right.
How can my God -
When he loves me so much -
Possibly want me
To feel loneliness' clutch?
I've not understanding
Of what is to come,
With shadows that loom,
And guilt to run from.
All I can do
Is pray for the best.
To beg, plead and cry out,
To find happiness.

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