she chews up the fungus grown
off the bark of unknown
ch-ch-chewing, mashing up it's
markings till it's all but nothing
good inside her ch-ch-churning stomach
The dark scoops her up and
whirls her around, winding her
up and letting her tick-tick-tick
away....begging to find a place,
digging her heels in, standing
firm on melting ground
drip-drip-dripping through her
veins, its drained all of it's
color to pull in her reigns
freedom to roam, just enough
not to moan...wh-wh-where
is home?
tracing fingertips against
the winds direction, blank
stares on dry wall, taking
trips through cerebral vessels
was she ever lost at all?
Author notes
Picture prompt
this piece was meant to be abstract...might be a little too cryptic, though that's mostly how my mind works anyway =)
A contest entry
- Abstract Poetry #29 -Modern Day Sleeping Beauty- by The Cube.
500 points, ended October 9, 2008, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BATTLE OF THE GOLDS 4 by Swan song.
2500 points, ended October 25, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Great stuff!!!
Honest, reflective & incredibly well penned with a compelling narrative within that enthralled throughout...
Keep up the good work...
Well done!!!
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written out cryptic and abstract ... yet it spoke to me . face to face . not a trace of insincerity ... loved it !!!
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Stunning and excellently written thank you so much for sharing
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Congratulations on your Gold!
It was different and truly abstract ...
Well done.
Love
Myra
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nice write. congrats on wining gold.
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Woo-hoooooooo...a golden poem indeed.
So cleverly written and a little the texture you
gave it with ch-ch-ch.....that was so smartly done!
Absolutely loved it!
ears/Seattle
way to write!
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Very good. I liked your take on the prompt. The darkness of the poem gave it a lot of character as well.
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Whoa this was a great take on the prompt.
I liked that you ended the poem with a question because it makes you think.
drip-drip-dripping through her
veins, it's drained all of it's
color to pull in her reigns
Nice job, good luck in the contest.
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This is another great write from you!
It seems that you've shaken that 'dry spell' you mentioned a bit back.
I wonder why you don't include the picture prompt, as it seems to meet it so well? Don't shoot me but at first read, I had a horse in mind, because of your references... now I've seen the prompt...
I'm confused again... a horse, the lost girl ?
Ahhh' my cerebral vessels... I love the wording and way it reads... but please put me right if there is a one.
Sol
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haha actually the whole thing is supposed to be a bad trip on shrooms....(fungus grown)....the picture (which i can't include because I'm not a paying member) reminded me of a bad trip, the medicine bag, made me think of self medicating (cerebral vessels)....the "stuttering" i put in for added affect,the reference to drywall was the idea that this girl is sitting staring at the wall, everything that is going on, is only in her head.....yea I'm weird, I know =)
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I went in and out of understanding with this one. It's not one of your typical pieces. I managed to stutter my way through it though and I like the standing firm on melting ground line.
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