lent you my ear,
loaned you my strength,
and steadily sold you my soul,
(leaving me half of what once was whole)
spent priceless hours
wrapped up in anticipation,
amounting to defeat in deflation
of cold...empty... broken promises
your stock
is plummenting
at an alarming rate,
nothing is free,
payments too little too late,
and I'm sick and tired of investing
my hard earned emotion to be rewarded
with only negative returns
(I'm requesting results I've earned)
not a penny offered
(for any of my thoughts),
yet you nickel and dime me,
blow smoke and blind me,
with weightless words
added up
and amounting
to less than nothing
dividends have divided,
the defecit's been decided,
the tax has been tallied and totalled
this relationship's been in the red,
many miles above our heads,
(for even longer than I can remember)
instead of going for broke
(with these lies we both spoke)
let's settle for a slither of sanity
refund blame with shame
both file our claim
belly-up, it's a bust
we've gone bankrupt...
Author notes
how much can you take before I stop giving?
In a list
A contest entry
- Off the Beaten Path by Shattered Remains.
600 points, ended October 17, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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LOL!!!! I love it! it does have it's similarities, yet I got more of a financial stock feel to it, nonetheless superb thanks for sharing
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Very nice, I like everything about the poem, the rhyming, the angle you used to approach the subject matter.. Good job, thanks for entering..
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really sad
It is a sad state of affairs that we seem to find our selves in these days. More and more people are finding out they're broke and it has nothing to do with money. Relationships are a joke for the most part, no love, or forgiveness no compassion, trust simply gone fishing
being honest and true are gone to lunch. Where are we headed every one is so jaded these days. great entry best of luck to you as always, Boog
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i love how in one of your replies below you say you are completely spent ... and the whole piece is about money and being bankrupt ... great piece and i hope cinnarry vomits some points on you ...
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Damn girl, thats some good stuff. I love the free style in your face tone. Kicks ass and makes you read it more than once....LOVE IT....and relatable as all hell...Ive been bankrupted by him too (dont panic, a different him, lol) both literally and figuratively....FANTASTIC....good luck in the contest!
Jamie
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Thanks, I'm glad you got it, free write is actually rather hard for me and where my insecurities lie...sometimes they end up making sense to only me, lol.
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the bankruptcy of love
what a unique thought
I have to tell you I really like this piece and it is hard to pick just one part, but here goes
not a penny offered
(for any of my thoughts),
yet you nickel and dime me,
blow smoke and blind me,
with weightless words
applause
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thanks, I was just feeling like I was completely spent, and wanted to capture that feeling. I'm glad you enjoyed it and appreciate your kind words.
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