Between stars of space and madness
where the comets of the sky faded
so present, so real this sweetness
shared in a unique and wondrous
moment, where dreams are printed
between stars of space and madness.
And when we drink of a chalice
filled with life, we feel it's solid,
so present, so real this sweetness.
In this place no evil can come to us,
our love has never been clouded
between stars of space and madness.
We, my beloved, make all precious
in the moments when it's so vivid
so present, so real this sweetness.
For us, time stands still and is ageless
since we have been found and lifted
between stars of space and madness,
so present, so real this sweetness.
Author notes
A 100% non official entry!
Old Poetry poet as collaborator: Jorge de Lima
http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/121786-Jorge-Mateus-de-Lima-Through-the-Silence
http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/122846-Jorge-Mateus-de-Lima-Poem-To-A-Sister
http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/121842-Jorge-Mateus-de-Lima-This-Love-Poem-Is-Not-A-Lament
In a list
A contest entry
- Collab with a Great Poet by Peteskid.
2300 points, ended October 5, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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well done
I love the imagery, good flow and smooth read. lot of emotion
thanks for sharing
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fantasy dreams of loving time together. wow, it does seem to grab the stars, wrap around your heart, as time remains motionless. Never thought of time stopping, but you have done well.
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I love this form! I also admire what PK did with it in the way of creating a contest. You make it seem so easy to write this beautifully. This poem is seamless, filled with stunning imagery, and well-stated love emotions. Exceptional work my sister!
BRAVO!
Always ♥
Renee
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Your superb artistry
unites the lines,
creates a new ullusion,
"so real this sweetness."
A Mariza wonderment.
M-C
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VERY GOOD
Official or unofficial it's still good.
Jim
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Which lines were yours? I could go look but you know me...lazy. I apologize if this comment is even worse than usual, head won't let me do any complex thinking.
The poem itself, I mean the sentiment...that's what it's all about isn't it...that completeness in a relationship, (and by that I mean any broad relationship between lovers, man and his God, whatever is strong.) And with all that udea entails..."between stars of space and madness."
Yes I know, that line was Lima's.
Mariesque.
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What an excellent Villanelle, Mari. I so love this poetry form but have never tried my hand at one. I simply loved this!!
~ Nicolette
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De Lima is an outstanding writer of poetry and prose, and his works are characterized by remarkable depth and complexity. Here the stars, madness, faded comets, and happiness realized from de Lima are blended with a similar voice reflecting values of faith, good and evil, and the realization of human conditions..so much the fitting and match of style and ideas. An excellent Villanelle form, thoughtful imagery and depth, wonderful expression, and seamlessly woven contributions from two sources. Thank you for this fine entry into the contest and best of luck in the judging...PK
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