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Picking figs

You undid
The fig leaves that I hid in
And wrapped me in a lamb's skin
Now I'm pickin' figs again

You take
My weak and sweaty handshake
And squeeze it so my eyes rake
The makeup off my face

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Nicolette gold member
    October 3, 2008

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    He/she has quite a touch!! Well, a few men I've known have kissed the makeup from my face, lol.

    I liked the first stanza better, the allusion to the Garden of Eden. I also found something sensual in the "undoing of the fig leaves" but that might just be my state of mind . Nice tight piece of writing but I did feel as if I wanted it to expand a bit more, especially the first stanza.

    Thank you for posting it in the contest.

    ~ Nicolette