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Full Disclosure

have i stolen your Eden
as i burrowed your skin,
to a depth beyond you?

you savaged skin,
laying there
for a moment gasping,
like a red tulip
dying


there on the shelf of reason
that leaves all humanity

reaching

with spindle arms and bleeding
edges… to get their fix

the transgression
is not against your skin,
            it is against the tomorrow
            imagined by the expiration date
            on your ego

Author notes

thanks to http://allpoetry.com/youllneverknow for a line about Eden, written in http://allpoetry.com/poem/4349985

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • ariazephyrzoe gold member
    November 4

    Edit | Reply
    I love this! and for your talent on writing this...an exposure nakedly open to different interpretations...yet you leave something hidden underneath

    I love this part a lot, it gave a powerful impact to the whole piece

    the transgression
    is not against your skin,
    it is against the tomorrow
    imagined by the expiration date
    on your ego


    Anna Lee

  • Aisades gold member
    October 9
    Edit | Reply
    You have a powerful passion in the words you write.


  • Avani
    October 8

    Edit | Reply
    I love the conclusion reached. Your thoughts flow naturally, and your imagery is pungent as well as simple. I'm usually not easily taken by dark poems, but this is beautiful. The last stanza is my favorite.
    One of the better poems I have read here on AP.

  • Wow... I honestly don't know what to say. This is beauty at it's finest; every line, every single word, is just dripping with melancholic beauty. That kind of sadness is exquisite, not to mention addictive, when it comes to my taste in poetry.

    If this is about cutting or suicide, which most of the poems on AP seem to be these days, I definitely admire your original take on such a sordid (albeit cliched) subject. If not, then I've interpreted this completely wrong, and you are free to throw things in my general direction.

    Well done, and I look forward to reading more of your poetry soon!

    Laura, aka Immortal


  • g r e y i s m gold member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    nice. sorry I wish I had more to say but I'm really tired.

    a good read though.

    Lea


  • MariGoes silver member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    I like seeing skin as subject or part of a poem. This poem of yours brings up the word skin in a very different way.
    The last stanza is simply a perfect end to this write.

    Mari


  • HonorablyFallen gold member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    bravo George! It does kinda have a dark feel dark or not it is passion filled ! I miss you dear friend !


  • pliantexcuses
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    Your two line preview made me shiver. Reminded me of some horror flick or Ed Glein. Yuck. Good thing the rest of the piece belies such! HA! Loved this piece by the way. Did I mention bookmarked?

    Yink


  • Nicolette gold member
    October 2

    Edit | Reply
    I agree with Wanda - the first stanza is simply gorgeous... I almost wanted to stay there before moving on to words and images like "ego". Great poetry, wonderful depth of thought and emotion here. I really liked this one, Geo.

    ~ Nicolette


  • Paloszoo gold member
    October 2

    Edit | Reply
    you savaged skin,
    laying there
    for a moment gasping,
    like a red tulip
    dying

    WOW is all I can say. This is a wonderfully sculpted piece. Slightly wicked just the way I like them. Well done!

  • FallingSideways silver member
    October 2

    Edit | Reply
    I love the cynical undertone to this as the last lines :
    imagined by the expiration date
    on your ego
    made me smile


  • Night Hope gold member
    October 2

    Edit | Reply

    Whoaaahhh...that first stanza is incredible, Geo. It kinda disturbs me a lil' that I liked this piece so much, Scribe. Bravo.

1 - 12 of 12