Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Who is the Loser?

Missing image
He had been right here before,
Standing outside of her door;
Dressed up for another date,
Always on time, never late.

Ringing that damn mocking bell
Ten times; the waiting is hell.

He leaves the small bouquet there
And walks slowly down the stair.
His mind engulfed grey haze,
He senses her haughty gaze.

I ask this question of thee:
Who is the loser, he or she?

Author notes

Picture obtained from: http://www.style.com/slideshows/fashionshows/F2008RTW/JLSANDER/DETAILS/00280m.jpg

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • echo-ink
    October 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ummm,
    Maybe both of them!

    This was an interesting entry, a little bit diff.
    I like diff.
    Love,
    Bell,

  • JWGoethe
    October 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Bitter sweet and executed with perfection. I love this. It communicates so much for being but a few lines. I especially liked "that damn mocking bell".
    Excellent.


    • Wandering Woodchuck silver member
      October 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. I have not done very many longer poems lately. I appreciate your comments.

      Mike


  • LovingAngelForever
    October 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Awesome write. I can understand that one.. that happened to my brother, so yeah. You did an AWESOME job


    • Wandering Woodchuck silver member
      October 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. I destest people who hurt others this way. It is just as well, your brother deserved someone more sensitive anyway.

      Mike


  • MissyMouse
    October 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Lol. I'd say she was for being a complete idiot when it came to his love for her. Someone who isn't on time thinks something can wait. They think that the world will stop for them, and this just isn't true. Lovely write.


    • Wandering Woodchuck silver member
      October 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I would agree. Too many times love is a a one way street when it should be a two way street. Thank you for reading and commenting.

      Mike


  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    October 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    A very fine write, indeed. Imagery, rhythm, and rhyme are just fine. Thanks for sharing this one with us. Again, well done.

1 - 11 of 11