A melancholy, pastel striped curtain
is all that seperates me
from the sobs of the woman in the next
bed
while my mother lies
encased in gravol-induced slumber.
The roses by her bed have opened,
they will die soon.
The TV screen in blank-
no reason to rent it.
My only company is the machine
that assures me my mother
has a heartbeat
and that it is almost
9pm.
Everything within reach
is plastic,
in mute colours,
with rounded edges.
Feedback?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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The details in this poem hit hard - I can feel the tragedy implied in this short write. Poignant and potent.


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What I enjoyed about this piece is how real and raw it is. I love poetry such as this. Nicely done.


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This is really sad. I can feel your pain here, and the emotions are raw and painful. But there isn't much imagery to it. There isn't much I would change in the way of grammar, except for a semicolon in place of a comma after "the roses by her bed have opened." I like it, though, it's really sad and I hope your mother finds peace, in one way or another.
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That's sh1t!
Really bad!
(The circumstances, not the poem.)
I liked the poem, it's so melancholy.
What is gravol??
God, I feel for you. Especially knowing this could be me...
I don't know what's up wit your mum, but I hope things get better soon.....

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Gravol is an anti-nausea medication that also puts you to sleep.
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1 - 5 of 5





