There is a gravel path
into forest deep
that leads to the past
and not a future.
Though the birds sing
it is backwards
as time rewinds.
You relive your life
and continue on,
to a time of dragons
and swords
where your prince shall be
to carry you away.
Into castle you go
to forget the future.
For the road ended here
in a kingdom vast.
Author notes
I choosed Option 2: Get inspired by the following picture because well it did inspire me. I never thought it out I just write what comes to me.
A contest entry
- October New Member's Contest by AP Greeters.
600 points, ended November 6, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Welcome to Allpoetry!
this is a very short and magical poem, I think it would sound better if you did put lines together, and separate them with commas. But overall the poem is beautiful, and I enjoyed reading it.
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~ Brienna
Site Greeter -
Hi,
I would just like to wish you the best of luck
in the contest
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Welcome to All Poetry!
I enjoyed reading your work. I like the story. 
I had a little trouble with phrasing.
I would have said (but you surely don’t have to)
Your prince will be there
rather than where your prince shall be
You go into the castle rather than Into the castle you go
I want to say the road does lead somewhere but I can’t think of a more appropriate name just now.
I am glad you have joined us and I hope to read more of your work.
…..…..
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Welcome to Allpoetry
Hello gaurwaith,
I enjoyed this poem. The lines are very short and I think it might sound better if your combined some of the lines and seperated them with commas.
ex:
"There is a gravel path, into forest deep
that leads to the past, and not the future.
Though the birds sing, it is backwards
as the time rewinds, your relive your life"
I also think if you changed or elimiated some of the words, this poem might flow better.
ex:
"that leads to the past" might sound better "leading to the past:
"as time rewinds" might soudn better "and as time rewinds"
"For the road ended here
in a vast kingdom"
might sound better:
"The road ended in a vast kindgom"
I didnt think that the poem and the title really fit. The title says "The Road to Nowhere" but in your poem, you say that the road leads to the past and that the "raod ended here, in a kingdom vast."
Also, you use several different tenses here. I think if you stuck one tense, the reader would be able to relate better.
I love that you told a story of a road leading backwards instead of forward. I thought that was very creative. I like that the road led you to a castle.. to a time where there were princes and dragons.
Very imaginative and fun to read.
Bravo Poet,
Criss
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ty u for your comment andu may be correct I noticed it did flow better with the changes you made.
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Welcome to All Poetry
Not always do we need a plan when we begin to write. This is great. I really enjoyed the glimpse into the past here... Something I seem to do at times myself. What a great read!
Best of luck in this contest!
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Welcome to AllPoetry
The best form always come from no plans. An interesting poem you have woven for the reader I love the imagery used in describing the return to a forgotten world.
"V" -
Welcome To All Poetry
A very cute and nostolgic write. I like the images you have added for this. While I was reading this, I was picturing being a young child wishing for my prince charming to come take me away lol. Best of luck in the contest.♥
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ty u greatly :)
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Welcome to Allpoetry
This is a very cool idea. I'd love to take a trip down your road, some definite times I'd like to visit. Very unique take on the prompt, I love it.
♥
whisper
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ty and trust me u don't want to go down some of my roads. -_o some are very....weird lol
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Welcome to Allpoetry!
I love your take on the picture! You have a fabulous imagination, and have captured well the whimsical, fairy-tale feeling... It made me smile!
My recommendation to you would be to enrich your writing through use of poetic devices. This write definitely has potential, and I look forward to reading more from you.
Welcome aboard the AP crazy train, and remember... You will likely kiss several frogs before one turns into a prince
Take care!
Laura, aka Immortal
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lol ty and I do hope to become one of the better poets on here.
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Welcome to Allpoetry
I really liked your story. I am stll waiting for my prince to come. Good luck to you in this contest. Ilook frwardto reading more of your poems. -
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ty and I already have some more poems up. So feel free to browse.
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Welcome to Allpoetry!
I really enjoyed the idea of the birds singing in rewind it was a lovely and unique image that really drew me into this poem. The touch of fantasy was beautifully done and this whole poem was a joy to read I wish you the best of luck in the contest!
Keep writing
Polly
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ty u greatly :)
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Welcome to AllPoetry!
Certainly a differnt, but interesting view on the picture. Never thought about time going backwards in the sense you describe here, but imagine it is very well possible. Afterall, doesn't everything eventually end up how it started out?
Welcome to AP and good luck in the contest.
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I think so who really knows. and ty
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Welcome To Allpoetry
Hi gaurwaith
This is a great poem, i very much like your interpretation of the picture.
Goodluck in the contest and keep writing
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Thnx and i will keep writing. :)
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welcome to all poetry
Hi gaurwaith
Some days i wish i could find this path and rewind my life just a little good poem thank you for entering and good luck in the contest
Barbara
site greeter
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I think everyone wishes to rewind life to change something or make it better.
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welcome to allpoetry
Creative. I really like where you took this. I love to see all the different views from picture inspiration.
You did well writing your thoughts here. Thank you for sharing and entering the contest. Good luck to you.
Enjoy the site!
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Ty and I will enjoy the site :)
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Welcome to AllPoetry
A road going backward,.. well.. very nicely thought out!! Thank you for taking time to enter the contest.. Good luck
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ty u greatly :)
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Welcome to AllPoetry
Beautiful poem that has a form to flatter the theme.
I'm supposing this is inspired by one of the paintings. Could you please 'Edit' and place the required option you chose
*Suggestion*
I would be careful with punctuation so that the reader's eye doesn't come to an uneeded halt.
Thank you for posting. I wish you the best!
Warmly, CookieZeal
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Ty for your thoughts and I have applied your suggestion.
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