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Mind of an Unknown Depression

the death
the pain
the blood
the rain

the sorrow
the dark
the broken heart

I lift
I aim
the sorrow
the pain

last thought
last breath
last moments
before death

Author notes

this took me like 5 mins to write so yer sorry if its bad lol

Littleboots: option #3

Thanks to a mate of mine or the title!

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 14 of 14
  • firefliie
    June 12
    Edit | Reply
    =O

  • carnivalesque.
    January 28

    Edit | Reply
    for only 5 min...thats a really good poem! it flows beautifully, and its simple, which conveys the message so much easily-er. lol.

    i really like it. haha maybe im just a simpleton, but it strikes me as really meaningful. thanks for entering!


  • serenity silvermoon
    January 2
    Edit | Reply
    this was a great poem and the once that only take like 5 mins to write are uselly the better ones i enjoyed reading this i hope you enjoyed writing it keep that pen flowing and good luck on all the contest your in and great job on the trophys just to let you know this poem is a winner


  • HereComesTheSun
    November 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i loved this actually for a reason i dont know this poem stuck out to me as amazing
    well done


  • Little Eagle Greeters member
    November 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Thanks for your entry

    Unfortunate that it really doesn't fit Halloween aside from it being about death.


    Thank you for entering. Good luck in the contest and thank you for following the rules.

    I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment



    Happy Halloween and God Bless
    Tammy


  • FloridaGatorQueen silver member
    November 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is an awesome poem. I could feel the pain and suffering. I enjoyed the read!!! Thank you for entering my contest


  • trekkergirl
    November 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    now that I can read this I see that it is a very well written poem. I really do like what you have written here. Thanks for sharing this with us and thanks for entering it into my contest.

  • trekkergirl
    November 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is very difficult to read. The font blends in to well could you please fix this so I can read it and then comment on it. Thanks


  • AloneForever-
    October 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is..hmmm..
    I like the emotion in this
    I like the flow
    It is short but it says alot
    Thanks for entering


  • November-Dani
    October 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is interesting, very short and emotional. The words you used helped to convey the emotion im sure you felt. A little more effort could have definatly put in but overall this is a pretty good poem.
    Thanks for entering.
    Dani.


  • Shya
    October 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my gosh... each line only has two small words, but this is really shocking... it conveys the feelings before suicide so hauntingly and so realistically. It really leaves the reader shaken... no kidding, this is one of my favorite entries. Thanks for entering! shya

  • cut13roses
    October 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Simple and raw. I can't make up my mind whether it would be a good thing if you had written more or not. Your writting style is very unique. Never stop writting!

  • X ShatteredSoul X
    October 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    aww this is a very lovely poem, i really loved it....and maybe you could put your title as "Before Death" that could work...idk, if you dont want to use it, thats ok lol, i was just trying to helps, anywho, very lovly poem!!

1 - 14 of 14