Blades of grass were irrelevant,
on that early summer’s afternoon,
but I laid on them with an iced coffee
and washed my back in gold.
When I counted the reasons
of us, and the reasons of me,
the thousands of green digits
surrounding my doubt wished
themselves detached.
That’s why I sipped cold caffeine;
it irritated you, and I loved
such expressions of yours.
I relished that we were untied;
I could relax in nature’s company
and you were but a musing.
But then I’d miss you,
and I hated you for that.
Author notes
Inspired by "he was my cloud, blocking the sun, leaving me cold, but when he was gone, it was always too warm" - Stephanie Wood.
I went for a can't live with, can't live without idea.
To fit contest requirements, this has 17 lines (of text.)
image credit: deviantart.com
In a list
A contest entry
- Come, Reserve, Write by luna-midnight.
700 points, ended October 26, 2008, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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this is lovely, i really like this alot. hehe. thanks so much for entering and good luck
Stephanie ♥ -
I like the spoken tone of this, the informality of thought. It's like the persona is in a conversation with the reader, but also with herself. I really like your description in S2, and the ending's good. The poem fits well with the prompt.
good luck.
btw, S4, L1: we're = were?
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Thanks. I was playing with "we/we're" and "are/were" just forgot to drop the '.
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yay! alrighty then, how about this prompt?
"He was my cloud, blocking the sun, leaving me cold, but when he was gone, it was always too warm" Stephanie Wood
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