YESTERDAY;
You could say it was a nice fit.
I foamed at the mouth, ears cropped.
Looky-looky now in Felix's bag.
A stethoscope, and toon bandaids.
A sticky note, "Don't forget
To rent Mr. Frost with Jeff
Goldbloom.
TODAY;
Grocery bags sticking out of drawers.
I hate those cluttery see-through-things.
They're everywhere, but there's no food.
Just paper, and plastic bags, wedged
Between the side of my fridge,
And a homely paint chipped wall
That I share with a flawed idea.
TOMORROW;
A pathetic shape, and complex notion.
You are so brave, and sure of something?
How about taking a look into my telescope.
That's right you, you and me, Godlings.
I have found it, and named it, properly.
"The cracked fish and loaf."
Something for us to remember,
Together.
THEN WHAT;
I can't say for certain what happened back there.
All I can say is "there's a hole in my head that goes
All the way to China, and although you can't see the
Bottom? Believe me, it's a long way down."
However, if you stare long enough perhaps
we can share it, and feed it to the night.
Perhaps we can swim this -
- Black, forever.
Author notes
For Lisa.
Written January 24th, 2004
In a list
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Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Flipping through my bookmarks.
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Nice poem.good luck for the contest
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The depth of this poem is awesome. I think I could reread it a million times and still find new meanings in it, new secrets and depths and contradictions. That is great. Truly wonderful poetry.
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Very interesting write. it really makes you think. i really liked it.. kept my attention well. thanks for entering this in the contest
~write on
-Jenny -
this is really weird. grins i like it a lot though, i had to read it a few times to get what you were talking about, or at least what i think you were talking about. '
All I can say, is there's a hole in my head that goes
all the way to China, and although you can't see the
bottom? ' = really really cool.
wow, i dont really have much to say....just..awsome job. good luck.
although i think i know which catagory this goes under, you still might want to stick the number in the comments or title... -
Quite frankly, Horus8, I think this may simply be the best piece of work (next to Juno's Peacock) that I've ever read from you. I can't exactly tell you what it is about it that makes me feel like you are just reaching out - and talking to me - but as you know - and other have expressed - that is a gift of yours. It is almost like a type of voodoo power. And often leaves me feeling rather exposed despite the fact it would be impossible for any of the truths I see to be truths you've told. Amazing shit. I sit at your feet, with my hands between my legs, singing your songs, and knocking all the bad'ens away, ushering in only the good, pure and beautiful light of what may be.
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Is this edit better? Some of the vision is clearer, but I stand by my original interpretation of the stage of life and the search for spiritual meaning. Frankly I thought my first analysis was brilliant, delving deeply between the words and coming up with the buckets of mud anchoring the ideas in a fixed metaphor.
This reminds me of a story (apocryphal I'm sure) of Robert Heinlein sitting in on a class analysing one of his novels. He listened to the lecture and then approached the professor and said, "I didn't have any of that in mind when I wrote it - you've got it all wrong." The professor replied, "What do you know? You were just the writer." Yah, it sounds better when you're drunk.
A second analysis might come up with the metaphor for a happy family that, in the second verse, is split, sundered unto the Land of Woe, the third verse is reconciliation (or an attempt) and the final verse is the working through to the light (ie. salvation and reuniting). Sometimes you just shuffle the deck, lay out the cards and let the meaning drift into your head.
And sometimes, one of us is just plain wrong.
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"I know what you're thinking: "Did he fire six shots, or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But, being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya punk?"
Harry Callahan circa 71
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"Well, you gonna pull them pistols, or just whistle Dixie?"
(Spits on the dogs head for emphasis). the outlaw Josey Wales circa 75. -
Is this edit better?
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Hey, this is outstanding! Pieces of a day, pieces of your mind. some kind of spiritual connotation about which you are utterly clueless. I love how you take it all in. We really need to stop taking ourselves so seriously.
Great stuff!
Take Care-TGR
God I hate those bags too, I have 7 trillion, as much as the federal deficit! -
Wow...very interesting write into the twilight zone I loved the way you penned this. It is different, and just sucks the reader into it. In fact, I read it through more then once, and I don't do that with many poets works.
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i have to say, there is nothing so ingenious as mans concept of the passing of time, and the characteristics or even perhaps, the events that he prescibes to each.
yesterday for past regrets,
today, for living,
tomorrow, for possibilities,
then what, ... for the cross roads.
Nyx... -
yeah, very science fiction feeling... hope lisa likes it
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Spiritual Journey
Yah. Okay. I'm better now.
I get an image of youth and childhood lunch pails in the first stanza - possibly the abundance of youth and resources ripe for the plucking.
The second is now, with an empty cupboard and lots of those stupid-ass Clear-Near-Tupperware dohicky things. This would translate into the emptiness of being and the questioning of what you can see and translate, but finding it empty.
The third, Tomorrow, reeks of some sort of religious experience in comtemplating the heavens and discovering fishes and loaves (but then one always sees weird stuff when they're fasting) -- the beginning of the end of the physical, the opening of the doors of perception and thus (duh) the Gates of Heaven Eternal or rather the beginning of the metaphysical joining.
"Then What" sums it all up - you got a hole in your soul as a result of the fasting, but your intellect rejects the spiritual, so you're left looking into yourself deeply, but failing to find the answer that Really is Staring you right in the Face. Take a long swim, but sooner or later you've got to breathe. Holes are made for exploration. Just carry bread crumbs so you can find your way back.
And so, if that's not it - then screw you and the horse you rode in on. I never did like your sister.
Edited on Jan 24, 5:02 p.m. because ''. -
You know I was going to comment intelligently on your poetry, but my eye was suddenly struck by JaHollow's comment about "fucking law" and I suddenly derailed and I think I hurt myself. The only thing I can now think of is, "Is that what codicils are for? Self flagellation? Some sort of dildo or anal insertion for keeping their spine stiff and straight?" As you can tell this really hasn't got anything to do with your lovely creative work and I'll be back later after I've scoured my brain with a stiff brush and some lysol. So Sorry.
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I told you it was a long way down. Each period of time got a little more descript. I hate those fuckin' bags as well. You can always come over my house. I live in a dorm with a rich bitch. She keeps us fed. lol You are all over the fucking place but then, what... that would be yesterday, today and tomorrow, ya know. Thanks again for making my damn brain think of more than just fucking law.
Ja
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Read it again now, and tell me if it's better.
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its like stumbling upon part of a wierd other world like science fiction where you know it makes sense and it doesnt...and yet its hypnotic and draws you entranced into it...really liked this one and the structure of it and the kind of sad pathos of yesterday today tommorrow and then what i liked the way that it sort of ended but didnt really and left you wondering what happened there.....hello who am i where am i ....perhaps i just got too far into it but i cant remember my name or where i am..perhaps it will wear off ...i have been horused
Edited on Jan 24, 3:46 p.m. because ''.
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