Suffer, must I because of you
Take my life to nowhere new
Lie down in dirt and spew
Born into this senseless hunger
Ripped to shreds by misadventure
A life gripped by mortal fear
Submerged in a sea of red tears
Taken over by black and bruised
desperadoes, woken to a truth
from below the jungle road
That’s where I saw you
Raping the earth just for shoes
Poppy fields as far as the eye
could see
On TV I saw you, merrily working
with your face hidden from view
Rarely did I watch TV, but strapped
into a hospital bed and fearful of
deaths silent plea, a medico opened
my eyes to a world
far from what I knew
And that’s where I saw you, in a
place one part of me would wish to
escape to, only if the other part
could move
Bleeding and weeping, here I must
suffer because of you
Diseased through self abuse
Dead limbs the colour blue
Gangrene toes enough to tell me
I’m screwed
Black pills a real bummer, now on
deaths road I travel, fucked up
and in fucking terrible trouble
Author notes
The opium trade puts food in the mouth in those who work the fields, but it can have a devastating effect on an individuals life from across the globe.
In a list
A contest entry
- The darkwrite Challenge Returns by Ktulu Blackwolfe.
800 points, ended October 11, 2008, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Written on this Date... by xxRainbowDawnxx.
625 points, ended March 23, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any thoughts I'll much appreciate
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Hard hitter
i was taken in shock by the bluntness of how the character felt, it really put emphasis on the poetry and i liked it a lot great job
peace -
This makes me feel so sad. I just don't know what to say on something so personal, only that I've felt close to this myself many times and I do hate myself, an awful lot, but you have to learn to not love yourself, as I'd find that near impossible, but at least respect yourself. That's a good start.
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Sad, heartbreaking, kind of scary. I love it! You've got great talents, and you show them well in the words you write. A work of art painted in every line and so much sickness shot in every word. Love the ending. Love the whole thing
*smily*
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This is so sad
Yes if one could only have not made the choice to trywhat their friends told them was so great and today now in the looking back at the young person so strong nd full of life now taken down by their own hand and not reallizing if your hands can take you down then by the same hands you can lift yourself back up again
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This is good, though there are some rough spots where words seem to be missing such as,
Suffer must I because of you
you could actually go 2 ways with this...
Suffer, must I because of you
or
Suffer, I must because of you
Just a thought you may want to revise this.
**Ktulu Blackwolfe** -
A very raw and vivid piece here.
Well written with excellent imagery.
Thanks for your entry.
Gaylene;f -
amazing:
This was a great poem, I really like the part where you said,
"Black pills a real bummer, now on
deaths road I travel, fucked up
and in fucking terrible trouble"
Because, I think that this whole poem is very real, and most people today aren't willing to be totally honest. Besides the fact that it is one of the best endings to a poem I have heard (or read) in a long time.
Wishing you the best -Catherine-
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Opium eh? You certainly brought me into that persons mind...Amazing job
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