You know, you know, my man -
Her moans heat within my ears.
A never-ending rasping, cricket’s wings!
This woman I took to be my wife,
So soft and beautiful she was for sure.
Men of past dreamt farther then,
Than the stars, and the heart.
Never to think her adagio will be,
You know, etc.
Do this, do that, on and on -
Her words set fire, a murderous desire
To free my troubled, weary soul.
Her voice no longer music, my being
For years a sparkle died with embers.
Only just, the energy to get up and go.
Resigned to die a lonely death,
This miracle is not near,
As there’s still vim and vigor within,
Oh, but for do this, etc.
Come on now, don’t you hear –
The droning always seems to last.
With shattering break the inside of me,
Laments its expression, howling grief.
No sighs, but tears that celebrate un-relief!
But then the clock turns years,
Back to the day she took the vow,
It bled my heart to undertaker’s door,
With promise and guaranteed word, well droned ...
Come on now, etc.
In a list
A contest entry
- # 127 OPEN TO ALL & "Ye Olde Winklers on Wodensdaye" by Lyndon.
6030 points, ended October 13, 2008, 4 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Congratulations!
I'm happy this poem has silver awarded to it, it is a story that many have first-hand knowledge of. Best wishes to you!
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I recommend you read a tale
set in upstate New York. It is about a man who had a Termagant Wife. His name was Rip Van Winkle.
Now I am retired, I sleep a lot. I tell my wife it is the "Rip Van Winkle Syndrome". When I walk outside, I find that we are still not a Republic, though!
I did enjoy this. I assume a man wrote it because I am so in tune with it.
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Ron
your right - a man did write this. When I read it to my wife, she has if the 'she' was her. I have learnt the pass 28 years how to answer such questions!! Thanks for the silver. Frans
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To me this is a sad story of disillusion and lost hope, for him and for her. A wise person said that complaints become louder and more unpleasant until they are heard and responded to. My husband jokes he always gets the last word, it is "Yes, dear"! The recipe for matrimonial harmony is not easy to find, but blessed are we if we find it.
Best of luck in the contest, many thanks for your comment.
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Excellent Write
I so enjoyed reading this. Your words are so true. Relationships grow in many directions, together and apart, but with love, patience, and a great sense of humor they can survive most anything.
Thank you for sharing. Take care.
Blessings,
Sandy
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I enjoyed the way you used the prompt poem as a starting point for marital disillusionment. This poor man suffers from the twin burdens of nagging and droning. We can only surmise what his wife's list might be. Happily ever after only works in fairy tales. In the words of a minister at a wedding I recently attended, "My wife and I have never had an argument in the 26 years we have been married. That is because she always does what I tell her to do." A good relationship has give and take, good and bad, droning and nagging, but it survives. Good luck in this contest. Peace, Liz
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p.s. I hope you got my message ok with those questions. Keep me updated on how they are coming. Thanks so much again.
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Excellent
It's a different kind of poem than I normally but it was very good all the same. You write so beautifully. I like the use of "etc." because sometimes it's really hard to use such a word for some people, some do not place it in their writing as well. You did a great job, I like the truthfulness of the message you conveyed here. Excellent use of vivid language in "Her words set fire, a murderous desire/To free my troubled, weary soul." It really drawed me that much further into your piece.
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Tis true what they say about a honeymoon period and then a relationship becomes harder work, you have the good and the bad and the ups and downs, but emotionally you are grounded like a carousel, you go up and down and spin but if she is the one then the world spins delightfully
C
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I wished to say:
Holy Cow! But then placed my finger over lips and said: Silent Myra, do not step in places where angels dare not tread!
Wondrous wondrous WONDROUS truths about marriage and its endless ... drone!
Come on now,
review that vow!
Loved this.
Myra
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