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Pretty one

Missing image





Smoke hangs like haze over the crowded room
and the stubble of men
scratch the surface of stares
as she walks
under the red light of fall
where the scent of ripened flesh
fills the moment
and she moves
into the shadows of expectation ~

on a night that brings the morning
into a muted state of spring
where sad thoughts
and sunny weather
begin in the colour of her eyes

 

 

Author notes

Option 9: Green-eyed girl
pic from photobucket

A contest entry

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Comments


  • tomisb
    October 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    a stubble of men, nice group name. The times I had a beard I remember too well those who assumed it would be scratchy.

    I like the use of the image shadows of expectations. It has a nice haunting quality to it that deepens the action in the poem.

    I enjoyed this poem more for its almost sensual quality and the way you create the picture more than anything else. You bring a vibrancy and aliveness to the picture you paint that puts you leaps and bounds ahead of most.

    Peace & Light,
    Tom B.


  • Randomly Beautiful
    October 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful imagery. Thank you for this.


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    October 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    That felt so subtly sad... the imagery is stunning in this.. I just adore
    "and the stubble of men
    scratch the surface of stares
    as she walks"

    Wonderful writing hun!


  • notorious gold member
    October 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    .Love that last line.