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Atop Tousled Sheets

Missing image

Suckled flesh rouses beneath a flickering tongue
as her spine arcs
thrusting forth velvet mounds
feeding the feel of skin against skin

Audible moans
trickle behind quaking lips
inciting the fervent pace
of inquisitive fingers
greedily searching every curve

Imploring hips mercilessly 
penetrate erect desire
as warmth emits between dampening thighs

Born on a sigh of unbridled love
essences skim starving tongues-
Indulgence having never been so saccharine

Author notes

Option # 2

I don't do sensual writes but I tried, ugh.
I may be editing

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14
  • dx d by me
    October 13, 2008
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    Hey congrats on HM, not too shabby for an unfanmiliar genre! Geo


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    October 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I noticed that it says in your AN that you normally don't write sensual. I can only suggest that you think about continuing to write in this genre. this poem is excellent. I love it and I feel that you did an outstanding job with this poem. I haven't been writing for long either and I really think that you did an excellent job with the prompt and with your poem.. the imagery through out this poem is fantastic.

    good luck in the contest

    kat

    • FallingSideways silver member
      October 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you very much for the encouraging words. I have always felt foolish trying to write such so it means a lot that it can be appreciated.

      • Sweet Impatience gold member
        October 10, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        I used to never be able to write sensual/erotic poems.. not for a long time. when I used to try, I would literally cry. this genre was something that I always had wanted to learn to write for.. but I would get so frustrated that I couldn't handle it. I tried more than several times, gave up. walked away from it, then after 9 months came back and tried again. I've got a lot to learn still but with the support of my friends and family on here, I'm doing pretty good.

        anytime you have any questions or need help just let me know. I will do my best.

        • FallingSideways silver member
          October 10, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          that is pretty much the same scenerio with me, ha. I always felt like a failure when it came to writing like this and maybe since receiving your encouragement I will try to squeeze out another


  • wbiro gold member
    October 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    them's some curvy lines...

    I'd work on the 'unbridled' aspect if you get back to this one... and I'd cast off anything that might be construed as an old cliche (such as the velvety mounds) and dig something up from experience... and where's the ending scream? lol

    • FallingSideways silver member
      October 8, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      lol, well sensual writes are far from my forte
      I like velvety mounds versus calling them something demeaning or unattractive as milkbags


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    October 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Born on a sigh of unbridled love
    essences skim starving tongues-
    loved those lines..
    Beautiful sensual elegance and heightened pleasure.
    Thank you for your entry and best wishes
    Julie

  • dx d by me
    October 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I don't seem to have a problem problem at allll reading this p-p-piece. LOL, Good imagery, you have an effective collection of "trigger" words, so, along with the photo, there will be some drool and mispelled words in all the comments! Good luck in the contest. Geo


  • KayJay
    October 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well, I think you did an excellent job. It's sensual, erotic, and the imagery is arousing... all without losing the emotional edge of caring and love... Well done and all the best...
    Ken


    • FallingSideways silver member
      October 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the kind words as I feel rather silly attempting to write such.
      Best Wishes~

1 - 14 of 14