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Thought Overload

 

Warning, Warning,

'thought overload'

- or so says my mind,

as I stumble to come

to grips with their cries

as they're churning,

writhing, jostling for position.

 

Pick me, pick me, they scream

in discordant, restless,

disembodied voices.

Some calm, some frantic,

some tinged with fingers of ice.

 

No warmth will I find here.

'Discuss things amongst yourselves',

said I. The whispers can deal

with the shouting. The laughter

can deal with the sadness.

 

I am taking time out from me,

going to a place inside my head

where the sun shines through

a web covered, dusty window,

where my armchair is old,

faded with use, but solid.

 

I am taking time out for me,

where I'll sit amongst all

that is familiar and loving.

My place of peace, far from

the sound of their clarion calls.

 

A space where the silence is melodic

and beautiful in its absence,

where my feet rest upon

a footstool made of warmth.

The place where my soul takes flight,

where I can enjoy the peace

of just being...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 23 of 23

  • PurpleSky
    June 2

    Edit | Reply
    I love the serenity in this piece it is lovely and had a nice flow to it. your words were beautifully written and well expressed. I loved that you used creative words instead of the usual ones. Great job and Thank you so much for taking the time to enter my contest
    huggles
    Lena


    • Mariana gold member
      June 2
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the HM and for hosting this contest. I chose this one which is actually my sixteenth poem because one of the poems prior that was not a poem. I just had to guess someone's age. LOL
      I hope that's OK.

  • a good poem ah yes, all the thoughts jostling for attention while you take a holiday in a chair near the window.


  • Dark Otter
    February 23

    Edit | Reply

    My retreat!

    I do it all the time to renew. You capture the concept well and I feel bad that this peom didn't get better recognized.


  • smonte19124 gold member
    February 21

    Edit | Reply
    "You Have Been Tagged" It is a wonderful achievement to be able to go inside yourself to find yourself and you have expressed it beautifully in this beautiful write. I especially like:
    I am taking time out for me
    where I sit amongst all
    in my quiet space
    where I don’t answer
    their clarion calls

    where the silence is melodic
    and beautiful in its absence
    where my feet rest upon
    a footstool made of warmth
    the place where my soul takes flight
    and I enjoy the peace of just

    ~being~
    Sis, you just keep getting better and better and I love your work more and more. God Bless, Jo-Ann




  • mimiagatha
    February 4

    Edit | Reply
    introspection is at times sistered with split personality, when mind talks to mind, sometimes completely out of the control of... mind. beautiful expression of such introspection, nicely built into a conclusion, nicely paced from overwhelming noise to absolute calmness. i guess you finally found this calmness in... poetry, didn’t you? extremely nice, soothing poetry.


  • Vaquerita
    January 17

    Edit | Reply

    this is beautiful

    thank you for your entry. a very vivid description of going to your quiet place, which i would definitely consider tangibly intangible!

  • Tercarro
    December 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Another great piece

    This should be in a book of stories written for those whose imagination is stunted because the more I read it the more I was inspired. Brill


  • Rhapsody
    December 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i like this. thanks for entering, good luck


  • Pete Greenslade gold member
    December 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    just being calm in mind is an achievement marianne,, i dont think i ever am ,, well done


  • Stevie.me
    December 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Great Poem Maggie

    Maggie , great job. I can definitely identify with this poem ,and you made good use of the 5 senses too.

    , Stevie


  • aboomer silver member
    December 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh how lovely to be able to have that spot to get away from all the mass confusion that sometimes resides in the mind!
    Love the way you've done this. So much of it I really like!


    'I am taking time out from me
    going to a place inside my head
    where the sun shines
    through a web covered dusty window
    where my armchair is old ~
    faded with use ~ but solid ' - what a wonderful image!!

    Nicely done!!

  • piccola silver member
    November 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    how well you describe the way thoughts manifest themselves sometimes. I suffer from a bad form of mania and this is exactly what happens ... thank you for entering


  • Bean Sidhe silver member
    November 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your entry & good luck!


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    October 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice write, spills out across the page. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.


    whisper


  • artis
    October 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    wow, sounds like a cocktail party in the wee hours going on inside the

    vaulted dome of your cranial cathedral. I really liked the sounds I heard and then absorbed as I read this, I have known this restless rambling deep in thoughts unleashed, pacing like panthers longing to break free.Excellent write.~~~Artis


    • Mariana gold member
      October 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Your message made me smile...very descriptive wot wot!
      Thank You for your lovely thoughts.


  • Lislaine
    October 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Me likey it very much


  • Pisces rainbow gold member
    October 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This very beautiful,
    quieting the mind, dismissing intrusions.in the stillness is the esence of I Am.
    beautifully written
    God bless my friend...


  • SomeGirlYouKnew
    October 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    very nicely done.
    the font was a bit hard to read, but overall it was a unique take on the prompt.
    good luck in my contest.


    • Mariana gold member
      October 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank You!...I have changed the font. I hope it is easier to read now

1 - 23 of 23