The bills are due, but there's no money.
The cupboards empty, leaving my stomach feeling funny.
I've shut most everyone out.
I just want to shout,
at them, let them know how I feel,
but I can't, they wouldn't understand.
And why should they get it?
I know other people go through shit.
why do I consider myself so different?
It feels like I'm living a lie,
trapped between two lives.
I try to be myself,
but where has that gotten me...
Dejected and rejected
praying to be ejected from this life.
I hate myself so much
it's all so fucked
People tell me they care
and I'm grateful that they do,
but I can't help but wonder why?
Where's the reciprocity?
What did I do for you?
I'm nothing but a no-name deadbeat
struggling to make ends meet.
I try to be a good friend, intrusive at times
never able to read between the lines.
I want to be someone to believe in.
Author notes
My internal monologue.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I second Rena's comment completely. She explained it perfectly. This is a great write. terribly sad, but great. Why are we your friends you ask? what did you do to deserve us?
Well ray...people don't become other peoples friends because of something they did for them. It just happens. we're here, and stick around because we WANT to.
I love you Luber Jack
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"The bills are due, but there's no money.
The cupboards empty, leaving my stomach feeling funny.
I've shut most everyone out."
Those lines remind me of my life before I joined the army. I wish we all could realize what we have had and what we could have. I feel as I am nothing a lot of times and wish to disappear but we all find a way out of it all. Great write.
Ray
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Excellent
Ah, I can appreciate that type of monologue, because it is similiar to my way of thinking many years ago. There may yet be light at the end of the tunnel for you. This also reminds me of my series on 'Depression', a link in a moment. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme just fine. Here's the link:
http://allpoetry.com/list/57529-Depression -
wow this is deep!! I feel the emotion and the pain in this write!1 Wow you did a very great job expressing your emotions!! This is well written!! You did a wonderful job!! A lot of people feel this way and there are many people that would love to lend a hand!! You did a most incredible job!! I love it!!
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damn...
very heavy piece, but very well penned
you know the things in your head seem real confusing to you ray
but your thoughts are more relatable than you might think
i think you should feature this piece so youll see just how many others feel the same way and help you see youre not alone with the internal struggles you just have a different take
~Rena
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