The way you take all my breaths
leaves me with want to steal more
more of myself to give you.
A contest entry
- In my life... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
300 points, ended October 14, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Welcome any sincere response and critique
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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a good poem, nice and short too which i like when i am just kicking sleep from my eyes. but though this is short it packs a large punch of beauty and kindness and love.
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more more more...lol
wow. This is something else, and I agree with Amy, a dinner napkin, wrapped around some kind of living plant...lol
very very nice.
Some kind of sweettalker, should be a spray against writes like this
kidding, but yeah. .it's smooth as butter.
Romeo,
jin
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there's a stir for sacrifice
you've softened the safety of the first line with your title's orientation of what would eventually be next. however you recharged suspense through second expression since there is a chance we'd compromise standards for excitement. yet it closes with gorgeous tendency to commitment with offer energized beyond just in answer.
it reminds me of a mother's love in fulfilling the existence from hide to this half. my daughter peeked to speak of the intricate rotation. yes selfish just lets go to not think only preciousness of ourselves but self for...
small but unique,
you could call me Carolyn -
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Wonderfully thoughtful comment, which I still appreciate. Sorry I hadn't responded before.
I had been preparing for a long stay abroad at this time.
Sol
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Yes..this love is the only bliss which if shared brings the abundance of it..and that way your poetry..creates the true scenario of that bliss..wonderful indeed...
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simply said, beautifully written,
tenderly felt. love, lane
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Heh' that's the second comment I've left, to newly find one back from the same poet immediately after... I had left yours on my screen for a while though.
Thanks Lane
Sol
... get rid of that silly wriggling 'thing' where your picture should be!
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Yes..this is the process of the love..and no one can escape from it..one can relate with this story of the love..well done..
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*sigh*
Could you bottle this up and send me some?... ...Romance is in the air you breathe and we all get to drink it in from wonderful poetry like this...Thank you Brother Sun for the sip. Peace always, Rhonda and best wishes in the contest!
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Thank you so much...
I couldn't find a glass... so
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Lol. The romantical part of me wants to belive this was written on a dinner napkin or tucked in a card inside a boquet of flowers.
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Nice idea... thank you.
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aww...this is sooooo beautiful!
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I'd thought I was about to write about twenty lines...
then with a little help, I realised that I was about to merely repeat myself.
Glad you like it as is... thank you
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beautimous!!!
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This one seemed to want to stay short.
Thank you... so glad you like.
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Thank YOU!
XX
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X X X X X
Thanks to you
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