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Strangers in My Bed

Who is this that lies next to me, whom I no longer know.
The one who made love to me and now who cannot.  
There seems to be three in this relationship.

The one who had taken vows to love, honor and cherish me.
Through sickness and in health, for richer or poorer till death do us part.

Who has your heart, your ear, the one you think of all the time?
Is she funny, loving and caring?

I wonder if she cries when you leave her?
Does she know you may never be hers?
You are not mine.

Is there hope when ones' feelings have changed.
It is I who is looking in from the outside
As if watching a movie.


A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • Tercarro
    November 19
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    Feelings

    This feels personal and though it may not be a personal thought the way it is written certainly made it feel that way for me which tells me it worked because I was absorbed by it. Good story.

  • amysticwriter silver member
    October 1
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    So much is said in this write...so many can relate and feel your pain...we wonder why does love die and what causes the change...


  • BonnieQ silver member
    May 2

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    All That Matters In the End

    You are very talented, dear one; for this poem is laden with much emotion and poignant images amidst, contrarily, a smooth flow of sadness. As others have said, I am sure there are many who identify with the pain of loss here. Very well written; though I would have liked it even better had the central character found that happiness does not come from another, rather from within, as well as coming to the realization that our mission as God's sheep is to please Him.

    So often, we seek to please the human at our side yet never sense he or she being truly pleased. It is when we learn that to please God is all that matters in the end is when we truly find happiness and human relationships dramatically improve. I am surprised this did not reap a trophy in one of those contests!

    I've added you to my Favs List and hope we keep in touch through our writings.

    Much luv & hugs, BonnieQ


  • Swangrnv gold member
    April 29

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    wow

    very sad..you have certainly penned a piece of real life that often happens in a relationship when one seems to going in one direction and the other in another direction..a solid telling of the heart, although it is of a painful experience..


  • Nickelspring gold member
    January 29

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    You have conveyed emotion well in this. The wonderings, the sadness, possible hopelessness.
    Thank you for sharing this.
    KW~


  • el dia
    December 16, 2008
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    i liked it !


  • Rheea gold member
    October 31, 2008
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    I hope this is not from your heart dear one . Oh I hope it is not real. God bless you.


  • echo-ink
    October 21, 2008
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    This was full of feeling, mostly sadness and regret.

    A very touching write.

    Bell

1 - 9 of 9