Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

I hide my feelings too well..

Noone can tell,

but I'm sad inside.

Broken hearts, spoken lies
it's hard to think with a little suffering inside.

I ponder the details of life too much,
there's too much to wonder, many ideals to think,
the only thing I lust for is the feeling of touch and wink.

Each and everyday brings a new sunshine,
new sunrise, new sunset, spotlighting beauty all around,
it makes one truly admire the brightening love that makes each day renowned.

It makes tomorrow a better day than the before
when you lose your embody of sanctity,
then you'll only realize how much you truly did adore.

Author notes

I wrote this poem over a year ago- about heart break, hiding my thoughts, showing I was okay- but lost and looking for answers.

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • a n e s t h e s ia
    October 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Honest and simply put.. gentle read.


  • Rashida
    October 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoy the emptiness of this piece, combined with the lack of colour in the background it really projects a hidden interior. Good job.


  • miss-princess
    October 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    beautiful

    I really like the 2nd last stanza the best


  • Yheezy
    October 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great poem! I love the last 2 stanzas the most. It's as if I can feel the heart-break. (: There's something about older pieces I tell ya!


  • Nicada silver member
    October 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great job showing such strong and painful emotions. The poems written with the freshness of the emotion seem to be the best ones. Many of us walk around in pain and pretend to the world that all is okay. Nice poem, and I enjoyed the read. Blessings, Patty


  • jocelynclaire
    October 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This poem conveys it's own bleakness very well. The middle three stanza's seem to be the strongest, the final stanza is a bit vague, and the first stanza seem a bit repetitive. Personally, I would do some tweaking to remove the double use of the word "inside", but that's just me. In my repetoir, I would call this an "almost-final-draft", but I am a lover of drafts and generally go through at least ten of each piece I write.


    • trancez
      October 1, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for the advice, I wrote this poem through thoughts and emotions over a year ago.. Never bothered to change the grammar nor structure of it, I guess it captures the moment to me of how I felt after heartbreak.

      thanks though.


  • samantha jean
    October 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is very good.
    There's so much emotion
    Awesome job

1 - 8 of 8