... scared
here I stand confused
should I go forward
when the end might be obscured?
Looks are deceiving
don't know what this road could bring
I stare and I don't know
is it summer, winter, autumn or spring
Voices from beyond
calling my name
I got this far
giving up would be a shame
I should follow the path
as hard as it gets
I should take my chance
or I will forever live with regrets
Suddenly I can feel you near
holding my hand
now with you as my guide
strong I will face whatever it might hide
With eyes closed
I will only listen to a heart
wounded and scared
to be broken again afraid
Hoping a new beginning with you I will find
where sun shines so bright
not sure if it is meant to be
but I never want to think : "what if I was right?"
Author notes
Option 2
A contest entry
- October New Member's Contest by AP Greeters.
600 points, ended November 6, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Welcome to Allpoetry!
This is a lovely poem, I really enjoyed your change in emotion to the poem, also I applaud you on your english. It is very very good, I know how hard english can be. I love your take on the theme
Thanks for entering.
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~ Brienna
Site Greeter
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Hi,
I would just like to wish you the best of luck
in the contest
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Welcome to All Poetry!
You got some wonderful comments here. I agree that the thoughts are expressed clearly 
and the sentiment sounds real.
My own personal preference
is something less uneven and less forced sounding. (Please remember that my comments are my opinions and are meant as constructive, always.)
For example, I would have written the first two verses like this
“Confused and bewildered,
I stand here perplexed.
I can’t see the end from here.
Where should I go next?
I can’t tell by looking
where this path would go.
Seasons blur like drifting clouds.
Like falling leaves or driven snow.”
I trust you will not change anything about your poem. It’s your baby and it should be as you want it. And it did get some good, well deserved comments. Best of luck on site.
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hi, tnx a lot for your comment but as i said before my English is not that well i only learned the basics at school then i learned the rest on my own some of the word you've chosen i don't understand the meaning, i not gonna change my poem as u said it is my little baby and i'm proud of it the way it is even if it is not perfect but it's mine
tnx anyway
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I see you've edited it somewhat. Very nicely done and I don't think it is quite as redundant. Good for you!
I'm applauding your effort in the English language. I just can imagine how challenging it has been!
Warmly, CookieZeal
as from me...
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Welcome to Allpoetry
Hello Joujeye,
This is a very sweet peom about a journey of faith. I think that this poem could be taken in different ways. I think that it could be taken in the way of your have a broken heart and you are too afraid to move forward until a new love comes into your life, holds your hands and helps your move past your heartache. OR, I also think this could be seen as someone who was unsure of their life, their purpose and who found God. Then they were strong enough to stop looking back and start moving forward.
I liked the first line.. it made me feel like this was a continuation of a story that may be too hard or payful to tell.. I saw the "...." sort of as the same as you would see in a quote someone used but not the entire quote using [...] to show that there were some words taken out. This feature, made me want to learn more.
I think that you showed such a vivid image, that anyone who reads can see that there is a story to your journey. I liked that you asked questions. Your style is very close to my own writing style and I LIKE IT!
Good luck in the contest.
Criss -
Welcome to All Poetry
WOW!!! This is amazing! One can feel the suttle urgency in your words. I know, I can relate, and would really like to think that the hand I feel is of the one that I would like it to be. The one that taught me more than most have learned in a lifetime. The one that me the courage to reach for my dreams, and work so hard to make them come true.
Great take on the prompt!
Best of luck in this contest!
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Thanks a lot :),
I really like to thank everyone here, i really feel an indescribable joy reading your comments i never thought that anyone would ever enjoy reading my poems and get all those positive comments.
i am so glad u like it i started writing a year ago and i still have many poems i posted 3 of them please feel free to read them and give me your opinions.
I want to thank you all and even though i would love to win this contest, but if i don't i would still have won your appreciation and support, thanks again.
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Welcom to AllPoetry
First off wonderful imagery and such a way with bringing forth the questions that we all ask. My only suggestion is work with the capitalization. In time it comes natural.
"V" -
Welcome To All Poetry
This is a great write that I am sure many people can relate to. If only we could all know what the outcome of a situation would be. I often wonder if we knew the answer would we be happier? Or still confused? You have really done a great job with this. All the best in the contest.♥
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Welcome to Allpoetry
You have written a poem that so many people identify with. I love the strength you put into it. Life is full of risks, it is scary to try something new. But if you have someone to help you along, whether it's the Lord or a friend, you will find your strength to move forward.
One small thing, in your first stanza you forgot to capitalize I. Not a big deal, but I thought since you capitalized throughout the piece that it was just an oversight on the first one.
Great poem!
♥
whisper
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Welcome to Allpoetry!
This is a lovely poem, very tenderhearted and sweet; full of emotion. The sentiment is definitely there, and you have done that picture justice!
My only suggestion is to proofread your work. Poor spelling and grammar can sometimes take away from the poem's full effect; same goes for chat-speak/slang. I'd love to help you edit this, so that the true beauty in this piece can shine through, unobscured... Speaking of which, I love your use of the word, "obscured" in the first stanza
Welcome aboard the AP crazy train, and best of luck in the contest!
Laura, aka Immortal
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Welcome to AllPoetry
I like to welcome you tothe site. Your poem is full of emotion and your poem is ver fitting to the option. I would take a second look at your spelling. Words like u and i are unprofessional. Spelling does count in contests. These are very easy corrections to fix. Also in the last stanza, first line, begging, should be beginning. I look forward to reading more of your work and watching you grow as a poet. -
Welcome to Allpoetry!
This is a beautiful way for you to express your emotions I really liked the depth of your words and the tone behind the poem - there are a few things that could be fixed (like in the last stanza 'u' to 'you'; 'wright' to 'right'; and I think where you have 'begging' you mean 'beginning') but they are small things that I'm sure you will get used to as you develop your poetry skills here at AllPoetry I wish you the best of luck in the contest!
Keep writing
Polly
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Welcome to AllPoetry!
I think this holds a lot of greath thought and depth. We will always have to make choiced in life, and most times face the dilemma of not knowing where the path will lead us. But we can't live on what if's, right? Well done.
Welcome to AP and good luck in the contest.
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Welcome To Allpoetry
Hi joujeye
This is a great little poem you have penned, not knowing if the path you take is the right one is risky but then if we don't take risks we always wonder what if.
You've done a great job here.
Goodluck in the contest
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welcome to all poetry
Hi joujeye
This is really good, thank you for entering and good luck in the contest
Barbara
site greeter
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welcome to allpoetry
You do have some good lines here. I think it fits the picture well. Cookiezeal has already made great suggestions.
You can change your background and font, you cannot use custom unless you are silver or Gold but the site does provide many backgrounds for free members to use.
If you have any questions just let any Greeter know. Best of luck to you in the contest. Enjoy the site!
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sorry about the font can't change it and can't change the picture cz i'm not a paid member
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hi, tnx for the sincere reviews
i really appreciate it
sorry for my bad English but i barely learned the essential in English language the rest i learned on my own and never learned how to write a poem but i like to express what i feel i only write from time to time when i feel i need to express something i only have a few poems,
anyway tnx i'd love to get some help
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Welcome to AllPoetry
very well written.. as Cookie said, it would be more friendly if the fonts were clear.. anyways.. very well thought out and the flow of the poem is also awesome!! Keep it up..
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Welcome to AllPoetry
Lovely reflection from the chosen picture. Did you intend to put the option number in the author's notes?
It may help the readers.
*Suggestion*
The image, though beautiful as a background,
conflicted with the text. You could probably
upload the image and use a plainer background.
Just an idea.
Also, make friends with your 'spellcheck'. there are a few misspell/oopsies.
I would try and economise thie poem, nipping and tucking anything that might sound like a dramatic
repeat. If you would like revision suggestions, please
let me know. I'll be glad to help.
Warmly, CookieZeal
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