So much have I forgotten in ten years,
locked up in vault of mind that will not air,
to set a fence around/about my fears;
I look to navigation which now steers,
and see her might and granite wonders there.
So much have I forgotten in ten years!
Whose silver seems antique and so severe;
as if the world's gone mad, and no one cares,
to set a fence around/about my fears.
O' sun of wrath with hot rays doomed to sear--
in warmth of Summer days I tend to swear.
So much have I forgotten in ten years.
No matter how reality appears;
I haven't more to hold than I can bear,
to set a fence around/about my fears.
Picked from this lot are faded souvenirs,
of which with fall of pride I musn't share.
So much have I forgotten in ten years;
to set a fence around/about my fears.
Author notes
"So much have I forgotten in ten years"
Flame-Heart by Claude McKay - Line 1
http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/19678-Claude-McKay-Flame-Heart
"and see her might and granite wonders there"
America by Claude McKay - Line 12
http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/4452-Claude-McKay-America
"Whose silver seems antique and so severe"
Song of the Moon by Claude McKay - Line 11
http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/19671-Claude-McKay-Song-of-the-Moon
A contest entry
- Collab with a Great Poet by Peteskid.
2300 points, ended October 5, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Constructive critique please.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Too subjective, fiction for sure!
A long time is ten years
Lots of cheers and tears
flowed under the bridge
froze in the fridge
and lots of great cold beers
Tiki Cat
Buy Tiki's Gourmet Cat Food
"Too Good For Humans"'
-
A great collaboration, this has been the most interesting contest, and you did your chosen poet proud.
-
Your poems are awesome!! Another amzing fantastic write!! I love how you express your emotions!! This is beautiful and incredible!!! I LOVE IT!!
-
"I look to navigation which now steers,
and see her might and granite wonders there.
So much have I forgotten in ten years!"
This touched a place deep somewhere inside. The flow is masterful and the structure perfect. BRAVO!
-
How absolutely lovely to see Claude McKay here and to hear the magnificent Carribean voice and perspective, to think back ten years in any place might encompass a great deal of change, so very well done the blending of voices and points of view here, the pointed urgency of the lines seem so consistent, wonderful word choices set the tone of this poem, is so convincing throughout, an excellent collaboration. Thank you for this fine entry into the contest and best of luck in the judging.
-
Wow
This could be spoken word so well...it would sound so very good spoken outload...which is how I read all my poetry.
I love this.
♥Becky♥
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
