the storii of those terrible nights.......

i was about 7 the first time it ever happened,i was staying with my grandmother and she was really old..[she had diabetes and some heart diesease]well anyways that night my cousin and i had to sleep in the same bed [only 2 beds]i was half sleep when he started touching my leg,i told him to stop and he said 'RELAX,im not gonna hurt you'then he started pulling of my night pants and then my panties.he started touching me and it felt weird.i told him to stop and he got on top of me...he screamed'shut up' and he hit me.........he held my wrists so i couldnt move,he kissed me everywhere.when he penetrated me i screamed because the pain was unbearable.he told me to shut up,he hit me more.when he was done he layed there on top of me and said thanks i needed that...he told me to promise i would never tell..i did.[promise]he said that he was supposed to do it,he was examing me to make sure i was growing right[he said i was perfect]i got up and went otthe bathroom to how i looked,i hated myself.my hair was everywhere ,my clothes were torn and my wrists were bruised..after a few year i had a birthday party[i was turning 10].i still never told anybody about what happened..that night we were watching tv in my room the parents were out on the town.he came up behind me and kissed me,i didnt want him too.then he pulled my shirt up and kissed me again..he told me to stand up..i did.he said that i had gotten big and that i was pretty..[i was hitting puberty]he laid me on the bed and touched me everywhere ...then he started taking off his clothes.i wanted to say no please dont.but from what happened last time i dint say a word,all i did was cry.he held my wrists down even though i wasnt doing anything...he told he knew thats how i like it....he pulled my shorts and panties..he penetrated me and i yelled no stop i dont want to..he said be quiet,i said no,he stoped and hit me.he said you gonna do something..he sat me on my knees and said close your eyes and open your mouth..[need anymore details]when i finished he sighed and said we gotta do this more often.....i put my head down and he pushed it up and said this will be our secret..i said im telling my mom,he grabbed my arms and slammed me up against the wall and said if you tell i'll do it again and harder...its been 6 years since i have been raped multiple times..he hasnt stopped ..the story i wrote wasnt even in detail...there were many things he did i didnt say for personal reasons like how he would try and pass me around[when i got older]...lots of things the only reason i haven't told on him is because it would hurt my family and i dont wanna do that because she going through a lot...if he has to do this to me i'll do it because i dont wanna hurt my mom..call me dumb but i would rather help my mom out than hurt her...