Azure Night (Can't go to sleep)

Somewhere in the azure night
Lies this girl without a plight
With dreams to fill unfettered her head
Soft bracken as her herbal bed

I feel like I can't go to sleep on tonight
Because tomorrow, everything changes
I feel like I'll never be 'alright'
Like I'm standing on the firing ranges
Without a blind fold in sight

I know they said, it was 'easier' this way
Better off this way, even
Then why am I crying so hard
That the tears have stopped falling
And why are my fingers so numb?
What's happened, what have we become?

A single tear trails down my face
A Mother's love I could not replace
I've tried not to cry, realizing
These last years, were all just a lie

If only I could close my eyes,
And let it all slip away
That today was just a mirage
Hopeful that the happy ended
Is buried somewhere in camoflage

Dreams are only fleeting
Upon waking, reality  rushing back
The past events, a cold hearted greeting

Somewhere in the azure night
...Lies this girl, without a plight