Internal Warfare

Refusing to exist meaninglessly,
she searched for answers, thinking, thinking,
pondering on the point of creation.

Who was she?

Nervous, intense, always so serious,
no one quite understood her.
In truth, she only had a vague idea of her own character.

With a sense of depressed desperation,
she worked, practiced, studied— All to no avail.

Were her efforts to be in vain?

Perhaps she was destined for failure.

Acceptance had always been both her best and her worst trait. 
The temptation to give up, let go, flared.
Maybe that was best. It seemed to be what Fate desired.

No.

She’d seen Victory. It had been so close, right there, almost palpable.
She breathed in its scent, its incomprehensible meaning.

She asked herself why it mattered. Why could she not content herself with being Average?

It was Love for her Weakness that consumed her. A need to overcome herself.
She had no natural talent, no innate gift.

Determination— raw, brilliant will was her Strength, her ultimate destiny, her reason for continuing the habit of life.