they left before I was finished,
they left no answers behind
and I cry short tears
for what I never knew
as my heart sways
side-to-side; for I am the fish
that takes in both views
while swimming in circles
I tried
[in my Brenda way]
to make sense out of
iciness and lies,
I learned
how to decorate
cold shoulders and make pretty
where pretty was not
they both died and what
I remember most
is Christmas, presents piled high,
with Mom not yet fully awake
curled on the couch
polishing eyeglasses
with the hem of her robe,
Dad smiling, cross-legged on the floor
handing out gifts
to two bouncy little girls -
a memory cotton-candy pink
death pales questions
to not so important
any more
please share your comments & critiques
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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this is well writen
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Very well written particularly the way you delved into that sudden memory and brought the scene alive to us through your descriptions, thoroughly enjoyed this 'glimpse' into someone else's life.... nice job
and best wishes in the contest
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excellently writ
above and beyond just words / realiation of the awareness of the reality of life.
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This is really beautiful, and so very sad you write wonderfully, and the emotion and pain seeps off the page with this one. seemless and perfect x
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Excellent job!! You did a wonderful job!! Great job portraying this poem!! Yeah I know holidays are hard when you are in a state of grieving!! I can feel your pain and emotion!! I can tell you wrote this with your heart and soul!! Amazing !!
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Beautifully written! Poignant and deep from within your soul. Holidays are difficult times for me when it comes to grieving. I love this write. Can't say enough about it! So sad. So great. Good luck in the contest!
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Oh my, dearest Poetess, such an emotional piece of poetry with its twists and turns, yes you are a wise fish to look around and find a cotton candy pink memory for you are right, all those things that once tugged at our heartstrings lose their pull in the end, it's not that it doesn't matter anymore but simply what mattered still matters, both the good and the bad. Especially liked " I tried ( in my Brenda way) " A neat way to show how personal an effort you made!
Kudos.
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Oh my! My heart is so thoroughly twisted in sadness and the grief I felt here. This must be real and from the heart. I'm just so amazed at the feelings evoked. Very very well done piece. I hope to read more soon. This makes me want to hug you and say all will be ok. Rose
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The last three lines say it all.
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Excellent
An excellent write. You express yourself quite well. I enjoyed your imagery. Thanks for sharing this one with us.
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oh wow...
Brenda, this is AMAZING! it's so terribly sad and heartfelt... i kind of felt myself welling up a little for a moment, but i've been pretty emotional these last few days, so that could also have something to do with it. i hope everything is okay, such a beautiful write. keep it up!
♣ Tegan
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