the simple clicking
of -
as the swings
and the simple
hush of
the bell rings.
i forgot you in a
manner of elegance,
but this
wasn't meant to hurt.
i just saw myself on
a podium
and didn't want
you to kick me back down.
marvel, marvel,
because this could poison everything.
Author notes
meltdown.
I chose V.
these are well 'moments' that led to this moment.
i need to stop writing about this/her/whatever.
27th septemeber 2008.
A contest entry
- snowflakes- I by bird-mad girl.
1800 points, ended November 24, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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this insightfully, feels like those milk of coffee granuals, and what ever happened to Marvel, nice ring to the verse, and quite brilliant,
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thank you!
where have you been!
<3
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As I was reading this piece, I imagined a very low, velvety voice reading it to me because it seems the sort of thing those kinds of voices would read. This piece was so graceful and delicate that it would require such a smooth, sensitive voice to recite it.
I love how the first stanza is just sort of suspended and unfinished until the next one. It held such electricity. It made my heart skip a beat or speed up really fast, I don't know which though because looking back it's impossible to define the striking affect it had on me, it was just so strong.
Your piece was vibrantly powerful yet it carried this fragile vulnerablity. I love the combination of those two textures put together, it gave your piece a beautifully distinguished flare.
♥
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