In this quiet forest meadow
a breeze stalks through the brush.
I do not feel it. Though behind me,
in the darkness, I sense its presence,
and I slowly lower down onto the grass.
I stretch my limbs across the ground,
let each blade tickle the flesh of my palms,
it is not that I am giving up.
But if I lie very still then I believe
everything will be okay.
Imperceptibly, my ears perk. I listen.
It's not so much a sound as a movement---
though is it still there?
I open my eyes and stare up into the sky,
hearing nothing but the unresponsive stars.
Author notes
Title -- Alone in the twilight
A contest entry
- Semi-Quickie; Prompts by letters to no one.
625 points, ended October 15, 2008, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
"I do not feel it. Though behind me,
in the darkness, I sense its presence,"
=]
This should probably be a teeny bit scary, sensing something's presence in the dark, but not feeling it, yet you describe this sensation so beautifully all inklings of fear dissipate.
"Imperceptibly, my ears perk. I listen."
Simple. Elegant. Excellent.
Thank you for entering and allowing me to read this =]

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