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Bottled Intentions

Better intentions
Could have been mentioned
Through simple retention
They slipped from contention

Less simple than planned
More than overmanned
A punch easy to land
Yields so little demand

Dropped straight off the face
Can't be allowed to replace
Such a comforting taste
Leaves such a sour trace

Been here before
Can't do it much more
Hate closing the door
But get less sleep on the floor

Nothing is convincing
Sometimes it's sickening
Left painfully wincing
Mangled and twisting

Not a hero for her
Better friend I'm sure



I've had better intentions
Some that I've mentioned
So a little retention
Leaves a bottled condition

How do i make this a song

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Comments


  • Paloszoo gold member
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very creative piece. It shows great imagination on your part! Love the way you ended each line. The flow was right on. Well done!


  • princessleejwctlvr2
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is excellent!! I love the way you rhymed the words at the end!!! You gave excellent details and description!!! Your words and lines flow wonderfully!!! This is an amazing write!! You did a beautiful job!! LOVE IT!!