POEM:
can you feel the waves?
all I see is palms
on some exotic beach
thrown away
like a sailor's lover
reminds me that there
is something else out
there.
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SONG:
can you feel the waves?
as they wash you away
cleanse me of you
they'll cleanse me of you
a distant shoreline
augments my day
offsets my stern
it's anchors aweigh
again I float
with nowhere to go
noone is home
always alone
can you feel the waves?
as they wash you away
cleanse me of you
they'll cleans me of you
endless wander
eternal sleep
my ship's aground
on some nameless beach
crashing waves
signal my stay
lord of the flies
scares me away
can you feel the waves?
as they wash you away
cleanse me of you
they'll cleans me of you
can you make me stay?
can you make me stay?
is anybody home?
A contest entry
- Love Pic Prompt by offlimits.
500 points, ended October 16, 2008, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites Only by wingsofgold25.
700 points, ended January 28, 75 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Thank you for your entry good Luck in the contest
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Aaah, this is very lovely. I'd love to hear this beauty put to music. That's a great simile used in the beginning. All in all, a really nice read.
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sooooo good!!!
It has a nice rhthym and rhyme. sounds like you are writing from Simon's view??? -
love it, as always
mylee -
beautiful my friend!
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nothing like floating on a raft out on the gold-fish ponds up pearson creek on an easy going early fall day
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ok interesting take on the prompt well done
good luck in the contest -
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It's metaphorical, the whole thing, take it as a person drifts through life always roaming, then he or she happens onto some random place meeting a person they aren't to fond of at first, after awhile when it's all you have you grow like and eventually love one another.
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Excellent
A fine write, indeed. Imagery; rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Your title reminds me of an old movie with the same name. A link in a moment for those who may be interested: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lord_of_the_Flies
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