While we were all asleep
In your lofty dreams
You chose the forms
that define perception
and can reach perfection
We build your city in the sky
I have seen through your mind's eye
and have awakened
into your next lucent latticework
As the souls incarnate
The scriptures are fulfilled
Written in the language of blackholes and galaxies
Sacred geometry, and cosmic spheres,
Basking in the majestic essence of
the ineffable infinite consciousness
I blossom in the vesica piscis
and aspire to the flower of life
Author notes
Thoughts in motion. Youtube: Charles Gilchrist
slow motion burn
A contest entry
- Make me smile. NO RULES!! by Jade.Butterfly.
500 points, ended October 14, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Beauty in everything by new born.
525 points, ended October 30, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What does it mean to you?
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Thats a very concise write, it makes the reader think and demands that the reader should know a few things before hand like "blossom in the vesica piscis".
but then thats what a poem is meant to be, to make the reader learn, and you have done that well!
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Lovely!
Best wishes in the contest and always!
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Oh.. remember to write the following in your author's notes before the contest closes:
1. which option you chose
2. what is the name of your new write
3. your nomination -
This is a poem with great flow in it, and that makes it easy to read. I see that you have some rhyme in there too (perfection - perception, ineffable - infinite, and the end rhyme; sky - eye), though I feel like the end rhyme is almost disturbing the poem because it just happens to occur in that one place. It takes a couple of reads to get the meaning of it (that may have something to do with English being my second language though, and I had to look up some words
). The lines six and seven seem a little odd to me, as if they are apart from the rest of the poem. Lines fourteen and fifteen seem a little much to me, in regards to the words that are chosen to convey your meaning. Maybe adding some punctuation would help make it easier to follow. Thank you for giving me an opportunity to learn about sacred geometry 
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It's the best piece by you I have read so far.
It's written in absract style, which you like:
"I have seen through your mind's eye"- I like this line.
Expressions and words composition are very interesting,
Well done
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Making sense of the mysteries of...
great poem with awesome imagery, very thought provoking with a talented poets pen.
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thank you greatly appreciated!
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This
was
beautiful.
You did this so perfectly. Wish I could write like that. -
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thank you. you can do anything!
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this is wonderful.
it make me want to reach the place in my head and tickle the crap out of it, until it coughs up something beautiful.lol
Great Write
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great comment i want to tickle my brain. i will do that ... now
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Structures and artifacts of old often were made from a perception obscured by time and minds that are dedicated to obscuring because light is a dead end to them. Presentday ignorance, that dictates a simplistic approach to anything allowed to be observable in the scope of the unaware, is a joke. A killing joke.
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Brilliant!
I must say this blew me away, even though math is not my best subject . The imagery is fresh and vivid, and you taught me something, because I did not know what the vesica piscis was.
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good
i like the stuff about the stuff
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This is pretty good, a little um...what's the word...embellished, I guess, for me. Remember, I am only 15. Just out of curiousity, what does
'I blossom in the vesica piscis' mean?
Best of luck in my contest! -
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The vesica piscis is the womb of the universe according charles gilchrist and artists of sacred geometry, it is the center of two overlapping circles of common radius and it is kind of shaped like a fish look it up on youtube its really interesting. so we all blossom there.
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Cool, but I'm still confused, lol. It's ok, I'll look it up.
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a comment
amazing dream poem, loved it. <>< yay for fish! -
Whoa,
Absolutely beautiful.
"I blossom in the vesica piscis
and aspire to the flower of life"
Was my favorite part.
Wonderful write.
good luck in contest.
-Mandi
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infinite perfect state of consciousness
evolved souls in oneness with divinity
aspire to the flower of life
wonderful write
God bless...
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I loved it
Keep up the great job you can return the favor by checking out my newest write
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