there is a scream inside my throat
that no one wants to hear
balled up like a fist
but not coiled or poised
a scream of panic
fear
apathy
fear of apathy
I recognize this warm scream
I've kept it
lying to myself about it's existence
it's relevance always pertaining to
THIS TIME AROUND
weak, discouraged, defeated
I mount enough sound to mutter a familiar greeting
saying hello to the man that fucked your wife
first
hi.
complacency.
Author notes
Written January 24th, 2004
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Comments
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Mmhm, deliciously cruel thoughts and feelings that grab hold of your mind. Sadly, I know this feeling =/ I love the way you managed to bring balance into the picture by portraying your emotions in such a unique, poignant way. It's cruel sometimes how we Know it's perfectly normal to feel in a certain way, but we're not allowed to demonstrate it, because people wouldn't accept it. Anyway, guess I've put my point across lol, great write and keep it up!
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This is powerful stuff. I'm slightly wary of saying anything about this for fear of getting my head chewed off! I'm kidding, but you see where I'm coming from.
There's a real blackness buried in this piece which I've warmed to immediately. We've all had those dark thoughts, words, feelings buried deep inside and sometimes letting them out seems like such a bad idea.
I like how you stated that this was a controlled anger though, you're aware of what's bothering you, who it's directed at, but you keep it tightly inside - the comparison to the balled up fist is perfect.
It's a wonderful portrayal of the internal wars we all face - what more can I say?
Thanks, by the way, for your comment on my poem. Likewise, I've added you to my favourites, I have a feeling I shall be enjoying much more of your work in the near future.
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