Non-Existent

There's a point in everyone's life,
Where we all simply become a puppet on strings.
Stuck in a game we never wanted to play,
We're bound down by Fate's chains -no room to spread our wings.

And it often makes me wonder,
What if none of this was real?
What if there was someone who plans our next move for us,
Would it become such a big deal?

What if we woke up all over again,
Right back at the start of freshman year?
Thinking this has all just been a dream, would things be different?
Or would I still wind up right back here?

Because there are so many things I'd do different;
Still, there's not a thing I would ever want to change.
I couldn't ever face the idea of a different now,
I'd rather things just stay the same.

But how can we make that happen,
If everything's numbing, even the pain?
We're falling at a faster pace now,
And only thoughts of giving up still remain.

So let me let go, don't force me to stay,
But whatever you do, don't let go of my hand.
Show me I'm not as alone as I seem,
Because you're the only one who understands.

What do they call it when you've gone beyond falling?
What do they call it when there's nothing left at all?
Am I dead, simply non-existent,
Or just silently left broken, hardly able to crawl?

I'm not sure how much longer I could keep this up,
I'm just about ready to give up this fight.
I don't want to fake this unrealistic happiness anymore,
So why do I still make it throughout the night?