A Night To Remember...

What words in the dictionary can define?
Vocabulary is only a disguise sealed lips wear all the time
Grammar embellishes the language of spoken by humans
Telling a story of truth for several reasons
...I could never find mine

Finding the path to write the living history
On the dusted pages in the book of life
To be read with eyes judging filled with pity
Shouting a tale that has left a bleeding trail
How could one tell that story that’s not a story?

A night to remember…
It was indeed, the name of the play
Scene well versed in deceitful behavior
A role of friend was acted
…no camera, no lights, only action
But the director’s seat was empty
..And no one there to say cut to stop it

Walking miles away from secured home
Near far away from love of my family
Under the same open summer skies
Sparkling with celestial bodies in the darkest of the night
Silence was screaming unheard cries

Frozen numb lying on the ground
Tearless eyes begging for mercy
A simple word of two letters lost its meaning
Falling on the deafened ears

No life flashing before my eyes
Instead time stopped the clock
As clothes peeled of carefully from the bruised skin
Soul left the body decaying bleeding
Heart beats stopped beating leaving it panting

Only few minutes of playtime
And then it was all over
The scene had finally ended
For he had accomplished his victory

Dazed walking skeleton, I was
As he drove me back to the security of my home
Where I stayed within closing walls with a plastered smile
It was after all only a dream

….he said he loved me and I deserved it to see how it’s done
Only a real man can define satisfaction
Married to another woman was his obligation
But I needed help to see it clear what I deserved from life

No remorse in his eyes I saw everyday
The true dream I lived every ticking moment
And all I could do was to keep my mouth shut tight
For I still believe it only was my fault
…I asked for it
… I never shouted it loud to stop
For I could not say No when the time was right

…I had practiced well with my ex-husband
…laying alive dead on the bed
…until he was tired
…and it was time for me to turn to the other side
…pick up the broken pieces of mine
…wash them nice before glued back for the following night

…few years of marriage should’ve taught me good
To take what I deserved
Numb to the pain for it was only an empty body
As the soul was long dead

…so another moment with another man
Was only part of the bigger plan?
To crush already broken trusting spirit
...or how could I lose what I never had!

…My immune system should’ve been used to being raped by now
Then why still pain lurks even now?

Living a truthful white lie
I’ve forgotten it all, I try convincing myself
My heart has learned not to believe anymore in dreams
Love still exists in this world
….as it’s in my destination
Written in bloody stone
Repeating the story of the night to remember
For the rest of my life
It’s not just part of me but me
That shall stay with me for now and forever

Years though have passed by
Clock still strikes midnights
But Time has stopped in the vortex
Where I’m slithering down in the quick sand
Alone with no hopes and desires left in me
For me to create my sanctuary
Where love and peace dwell
…I only await for that day
When I would be able to stop living the pretense
And walk away breathing freely

…don’t know if it would ever be
But have to keep living the life as destined
Until it’s my time to say final goodbye
To the night to remember...for now & forever

...But the truth is clear
One can't remember that's not forgotten...and will never
be able to erase that living memory!!!

...It's a never ending story that's not a story...