Still water goes
by in a swirl
of blue and green
with my head
under the current.
Yet time
travels faster
than this water
that never
travels backwards
so if I
don't see
you I will
understand
because you,
like me,
are caught
in the backlash
of this
blue-green
still water.
A contest entry
- Make Me Feel! by Walking Oxymoron.
450 points, ended September 30, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
Nicely expressed.
-
I can feel this! very well done indeed!
-
Wonderful
Very creative and so well done. A great expression for the theme. Best of luck in the contest. -
yes water always travels forwards,,as life, good work aand imagery..best of luck x
-
-
Thanks for the comment Peter and the good wishes!
-
-
I can feel the frustration
as everything is happening and life is not simple...like we would have it, with 'still' waters, instead they 'swirl' in our brain like a festering puzzle. In time it has its backlash. Well thought out. Much food for thought.
I like the way you break your verse into chunks of meaning, but mostly, I like the emotion running through the words.
-
-
Great comment and thank you for the insight and care making your comments!
-
-
Beautifully written! Leaves the reader with a peaceful feeling.
-
-
Thank you for reading and commenting on my poems--you always say wonderful things that make me feel good, also!
-
-
Excellent
Such a great creation for the theme. So very well done. Best of luck in the contest.
-
-
Thank you for your comments and glad you liked the poem!
-
-
Nice..!
Could be related to anything!
I like the way it's broken.
Interesting write- and gladly different to the other entries.
Thank you! -
-
Thank you! Your contest was so open and inspring but I was worried about making you feel, but now feel great about your
comments! -
-
Worried about making me feel?
Wow.
One of the first!
I'm one of those sceptical people that think I'm hard to move, (in any specific way)
Thinking about it logically, it's just words, you have literally seconds to make me feel an emotion about ANYTHING. I think it's a hard feat, that's all!
That's why it's so open, make me feel anything. And you can enter more than once!
Thank you for finding me inspiring..!
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
