stepped upon and forgotten;our (us)
all those words that mean you are not alone
are now stretching, elongating into a solo shadow
that leaves a cold chill when you dip back into it
reminding you that you must push forward
if you wish to persevere
the arch is harsh, but necessary
you promise your love is forever,
but only from a distance,
and as I try to pick up from where our discarded weeks fall
I know it's pity you offer, and that hurts even more
In a list
A contest entry
- I've Been Here Four Years Today... Remind Me Why :D by DramaQueen469.
4000 points, ended June 26, 2009, 54 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Wow, this is such a powerful poem, it's really well-penned and I can relate
Thankyou so much for entering this piece in my contest, and I wish you the best of luck!
♥ Maria ♥ -
"I know it's pity you offer, and that hurts even more
"
there is little that can hurt more than this in an offer of emotions from someone else -
there was a lot of emotion contained within this one; and although i'm not sure what interpretation i came away with, i enjoyed the process of reading it -
thanks for entering
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Yes, pitty always hurts the most. Very sad and very emtional piece.
Thanks for sharing and good luck
Justgot2loveme
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The last four lines are really strong... that strong they could actually stand on their own in my opinion.
Very well done here, thank you for entering - definitely considering this...
Leander -
Interesting form ... love "solo shadow"
A little to wordy for me personally, but to change anything would make it seem less.
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Quietly sad
Whispering lovely "into a solo shadow" no matter what they say always, it always hurts.
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"I know it's pity you offer, and that hurts even more"
pity surly always hurt more, that is so true.
I rather have nothing, myself.
This is a well written piece of poetry,
as sad as it may be.
loveandblessings2u & yours always
Joyce
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I liked this, I struggled a lil to understand it and prob still not fully understand it, but i like the imagery you have placed in this, a really good poem keep it up
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No words.
except maybe one:
amazing.
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wow!!! I can feel this!!!! You are really good at expressing emotion!!! Excellent job!!! I love it!!
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Hard to describe what I like, just know I do. I think "discarded weeks" might've done it. What worse to waste than time?
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