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Reflection ( Bronze )

Missing image

What became of me I ask,

did colour ever paint my face

drawn now

the lines tell the story

of use to be's.

 

Pondering

achromatic haze befalls me

memories ever fading

in the twilight of my years.

 

The chill of the morning,

October...

Leather coat I huddle into

forgotten was the scarf

and the gloves to warm my wrinkled hands.

 

Tucked into the seamed pocket

the silken red lining

throws some heat

as the blue of my finger tips changes.

 

Rush of the traffic

speeds heist

can longer focus

tired eyes carries my heavy load.

 

Lonely

my voice is silent

conversation shared as was the laughter

now just reflective images from the telly.

my company..

 

Unsteady footing,

I walk along the pebbled streets

to the village stall

bag in hand

pension in my wallet.

 

Fumbling

I pick up the paper

my only vision to a world outside my door

in pages turned

as was my life before.

Author notes

http://paranoyiqzz.deviantart.com/art/OLD-AGE-98293126

Old Age

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 29 of 29

  • DeadandHeartless
    February 2
    Edit | Reply
    WOW Im speechless! It's beautiful!


  • Rose Angel gold member
    November 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What a write of a portrayal of the elderly...Your choice of words and how you have taken the prompt so well is exceptional! You have great insight, great talent as displayed here...Magnificent!


  • thejollytinker
    October 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What a caption for a life lived long and seemingly well. Don't know about you, but I don't ever want to grow old and eventually die. Hope I can do it with the grace you displayed.


  • Maxboy gold member
    October 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A very sad truth for so many in the "twilight" of their years. The sadness, loneliness and despair, you have told his story so well.

    Well Done....Best wishes in the contest.


  • trekkergirl
    October 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh wow! This goes so well with the picture. It is a very well written poem. The imagery is wonderful and the words really hit home. I like this poem a whole lot!

  • Nymph
    October 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Love the combination of the image & words. By the time you get to the end of the poem you don't need the picture. Lovely imagery. Good luck


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    October 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your insight into the picture is amazing, your imagery is spot on, I felt the cold and loneliness, your words tell his story beautifully.

    All the best in the contest

    Sue


  • Rele anmwe
    October 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is such a wonderful write


  • BuriedTreasures silver member
    October 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful Composition---Excellent imagery throughout.
    The last stanza is powerful in its portrayal--
    "Fumbling
    I pick up the paper
    my only vision to a world outside my door
    in pages turned
    as was my life before."

    Well Done & best of Luck in the contest!


  • daviscth silver member
    October 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow Julie! Your words go so perfect with the picture.
    makes me wonder which came first. LOL. Good luck in the contest.


  • aboomer silver member
    October 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    LOVE the depth, emotion and images in this! Well done!! I really like how you have ended this,

    'Fumbling
    I pick up the paper
    my only vision to a world outside my door
    in pages turned
    as was my life before.'

    Excellent! best wishes in your contest.


  • princessleejwctlvr2
    October 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is incredible!! You truly did a very wonderful job portraying this write!! I can tell that you put a lot of thought into this piece!! You did an amazing job!! This is well written!! You gave excellent details and descriptions!! Your words and lines are perfect!!! You did an absolutely beautiful job with this piece!! Its marvelous!!!!


  • jazzcat gold member
    October 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting write. You fill the poem with rich textures, ideas and feelings. I felt a sense of sadness and a feeling of someone left behind and forgotten. I thought the one stanza about driving, while good, seemed out of place with the rest of the piece. But, I loved how this piece started and I loved how it ended. I look forward to reading more of your work.

  • oldpoets
    October 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I am living the life that your write expess's. You have done a wonderful interpintation of life will be when we grow old. Thank you for sharing

  • davidwright silver member
    October 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very poignant piece of work and a telling story in this or any time. Being a senior I identify with your words. Happy trails


  • Symphony
    October 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "Fumbling
    I pick up the paper
    my only vision to a world outside my door
    in pages turned
    as was my life before."

    this part was so sad; describing a part of life that we all surely dread reaching, and yet long for as to live that long is an achievement, and a joy - you worded this so well


  • georgie
    October 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow... this tis just wonderful... u captured the image beatifully and expressed it so well. i particularly love the first verse but the poem in a whole is just a fantastic piece. well written,
    hugs,
    georgie,
    xxx


  • Midnite wolf gold member
    October 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow, what else can i say to such an amazing write, so sad but so beautifully written, the imagery is fantastic, another great write hun, good luck in the contest.


  • LadyDementia gold member
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is painfully sad, the emotions you have expressed are so very deep here. Such a shame that this is all some have to look forward to. A stunning piece hun, should do very well! Good luck


  • Paloszoo gold member
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh this is such a sad and beautiful write. You've done really wonderfully with this picture prompt! Thanks for entering my contest. I'm honored to have you show your work here.


  • banrion
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh this is just wonderful. You have a wonderful talent. The imagery is amazing. I felt this poem. Best of luck in the contest.
    SJ


  • perfectsunset gold member
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this was such a deep and profound piece.
    Your words are so full of emotion
    and you express old age life beautifully
    and genuinely.

    This was such a graceful
    and heartfelt piece.

    A most treasure to read!

    Best of luck in the contest sis,

    love megz xx


  • chilali
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Brillaint!

    Wow. I really enjoyed reading this Julie. What you were portraying here, and then, your take on the prompt. The words you used, the way it was written, and when I read it out loud, the flow was just perfect. Everything about this piece is very lovely, deep and filled with emotions. I loved the imagery. I could picture it all in my head, and I loved the way it was. Yet again, Julie, another terrific write! You never fail to amaze me.


  • storiesuntold gold member
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Pure excellents

    Yes our world today has taken our elderly and truly slapped them in the face the final blow for tis week Im afraid their will be millions to lose all they have worked for and we all shall suffer the consequinces

  • Bob Fox
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Julie

    May I say I think this is your greatest work. It is so real for many, Ignored by those who take youth for granted and health as a given. It tuched me so for I am ever near to that twi-light. Just splendid poet.


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Mum this is a very sad emotional write. one that depicts the reality of life for many. the imagery is vivid and paints such a sad picture. you've brought him to life.

    good luck Mum

    kat


  • Abe 1
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    sad is dis 1
    u ave brought him to life & added colour in dis black and white
    gd 1 babes
    cheers
    abe


  • Topaze
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Did you know the largest population of internet users are over 50, not students and not gamers. Thank God we no longer need newspapers as the opinions are all lob sided. This was a fine piece, but that world is an old one. My best wishes always.


  • maralisa silver member
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    a brilliant poem julie your imagery is so deep and toucing yet full of the realitys that we can encounter when we become old I loved your poem it brought a tear to my eye good luck in the contest I would give this gold take care my friend marina

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