This fathomless hallway scopes out of sight...
Like ambling through an ancient library
The depths of the celestial enigma
Enchant the mind
The ghostly mass seems to vibrate incessantly
But it's just that you've entered
Through the gates of utter gloom
From that point, your existence is damned
You feel a mysterious presence
The unnerving ambience enthralls you down
White is the absence of color
The only spectrum vivid,
With the dull ubiquitous age
For behold, the glorious halls,
Blessed in eminence, above and beyond, ever pulsate
Like astronomical novas, subsiding gently
Every minute...
Time unnaturally flows through here
So you’ll perambulate with un-pristine patience
With many cries, for an eternity...
Once your caught in the current
One head note, is the continuum that presides on the walls
This motley motif, carved in exquisite, ever-changing patterns
Leaves you in awe of it's ingenuity
These imbedded sages will forever drive your impetus
If you trot further down,
Reality strikes you
People have been here before,
“ 분실된 ” written in ink
An eerie innuendo
But clearly states,
The inevasible truth...
Author notes
The chinese word is lost.
The poem was inspired by the many uncanny dreams i saw when i had a unbelievably high temperature.
I am planning to translate this into old english, just for the hell of it.
A contest entry
- Let your mind explore by Learning2PaintYou.
550 points, ended November 8, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - An Escapee In Your Dream World by KyleBerg.
700 points, ended December 13, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your oldest prewrite poems and my 20th contest by stargazer..
650 points, ended April 20, 417 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Amazing
It's always so nice reading you're poems!
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This is, unfortunately, a bit beyond my brain's capacity.
Nevertheless, I can see that this is a very well-constructed and expertly written poem, so thank you for entering and sharing it with me
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this does have a surrealistic feel to it...obviously influence by the inspiration...well worded, and nice imagery...love the line;
'white is the absence of colour'
and yet, when you shine white light through a prism, you get the rainbow. Enjoyed!
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You have painted an amazing picture of your dream with words...
and you have remembered in such detail
very prophetic
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I think you've done a great job with this poem. It's a wonderful write. I love your use of vocabulary and your descriptions.
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Surrealistic in sensation, appropriate for visions found in fevered dreams. Some of the statements turn in on themselves like spirals of thought or never-ending syntactical loops appropriate for the imagery portrayed. The poem is haunting, but alluring rather than daunting.
Note: Should "seams" in line 5 be "seems"? In line 31 should "A eerie" be "an eerie"?
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This reads beautifully, the opening stanza is a mind grabber and you don't let go. Awesome write.
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Your have a great sense of humor, just a feeling I have about you after reading your poem.
You choice of words, sophistication and broad, vivid imagination reflects so much about your character. I was not only bewitched by how talented and proficient you are with writing in this piece but I enjoyed your poem and praise you for a wonderful job on expressing your thoughts in a successful, wells structured style.
I think I held my breath through out the whole poem, I guess I was caught in your words… in your world.
Your one of a kind, I don’t come across many poems as exciting as yours!
looking forward to read the old english version... just for the hell of it..lol
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Superb
I enjoyed this poem! A Good write! Thanks for sharing! -
I love your poetry, but I guess my mind is not as streached as yours... many of the words you use is beyond my vocabulary
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