shaded areas of conscience

& just for you, I wrap my hellos
in the brightest smiles I can muster
& the twirlyness in my stomach--

& as I dip my thoughts into puddles
of guilt, I back away, refusing to
get too close to the edge,
& then you're behind me,
holding me & I think of nothing but you.

heart shaped splinters line my fingertips
after you've finished creating havoc
with me, empty laps & empty bottles,
I don't think I want this to end.

& maybe, if we continue to dance around
everything ever, we'll never collide like
we want to & we can maintain some sort of
pretending that we're doing nothing wrong.

& maybe we're not doing anything wrong,
it doesn't feel wrong when I dance with you,
nor when you slip your fingers in the spaces
inbetween mine, it feels perfect.

musical notes throw themselves at me,
winding me & wrapping themselves up in
the bubbles that you're leaving me trying
to catch, if only I could ask you what I wanted to.

but we both know, I'm not meant to go there,
further from the stars I'll stay from the
questions that are bursting out of me;
do you feel like this too?