Moon has a shadow;
feathered wings tumble in
my room into my bed,
figures of angelic kin.
Misty white blankets cover
what should not be seen:
my pride, my shame,
the excitement so keen.
They lay on me thick-
the pull fills my head.
eyelids fast flutter,
moonlight boils blood red.
Of all the night dreams,
this one fulfilled.
the pleasure multiplied-
as my heart beat was stilled.
Liquid ran from my veins
forming a river of lust.
the angels let me wallow
in pin-prick disgust.
Author notes
"Angels may fly into my room, but they will not hold me. They will not decide my fate." - Unknown
Give me a critical thought.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Lust, pure lust. This was extremely sensual, with great imagery. Once again you managed to blow me away with your poetry. I'm already a fan!
Great work!
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"Moonlight has a shadow; feathered wings tumble in..." An absolutely breathtaking beginning of a most sensual poem. I do not mean sensual in a "sexy" way, but more in the way sensual is truly meant to be - exquisite texture, imagery, thought, heart. I love this poem. I am now off to read more
Love, Lane
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Dreams. The inability to resist sin and the remorse afterwards. Passionate and intense. My only critique is that in a couple of stanzas you use a period but do not capitalize the next word. Minor.
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thank you for commenting. I am glad you understood and that you liked it. It's one of my favorites that I've ever written. About the form? I probably should change the capitalization problems, but it's kind of my personal. But thanks for the critique and for stopping by. Cheers. Nicht du? Dann wer?
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i like it
The poem's atmosphere is unique in which you can touch the poet's inner feelings. Some parts are closer to poet's torments.e.g. Moonlight boils...my heart beat...but what i can t make head and tail is the word disgust.
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Thank you for your comment. The whole theme of the poem is lust and shame... Pin-prick disgust mainly refers to the shame that is felt after an episode such as this (more sexual than not). I hope this clerifies things a bit. Cheers.
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0.o So descriptive and vivid. The first stanza especially is extremely forceful in its imagery
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