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One hour Autumn

Silent whisper
Across deadly skies
We sit together
Exchanging crys

The still
So silent
And myself
So silently scared
For the truth to appear
The world couldnt bare

The leaves fly high
Across over a bridge
Where the two winds met
And the leaves start to spin
Like dancing and asking about love
With words not spoken

The air resettles
Allowing "Open truth"
But this leaf is hiding something
Under its roots

Two winds gust
They go their seperate ways
But the one leaf still lusts
For one tiny little gaze

Tell me what you think, I really do want some honest feedback

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Marc-Andrews
    September 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Actually, reading it myself, It moves too quickly
    and It is freeverse..... so no getting arsy about a rhyming pattern...... If the message is understood which I'm hoping it is, i'm not sure what will happen, but i'll soon find out