Oh God
I am testing to gain access to
your castle operating the doors
of your abode
and every time your revolving doors
transports me back
to my own cottage
perhaps, you are existing
at my residence
Oh God...
Author notes
Option
3. revolving doors
A contest entry
- Be Inspired ~ Options~ by Jersene.
1500 points, ended October 17, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
This says alot even though there are only a few words.Makes a person think.What would one do or feel in the same situation.Would one feel the same and face their own demons or leave it up to fate?Great insight.Thanks for making me think.
-
nice
You have a style that is unlike any other I've seen
You're truly origional
An expert poet
have a good one..........Erin -
The possibility of something occuring while being reminded and realizing that it exist within us at the present time, although the need to test and challenge beyond our strengths is the key of knowing our efforts to know such power.
-
I like where you've taken the prompt...it has a spiritual connection and a humbleness we all need to be reminded of, from time to time. Personally, I think the picture takes away from your words, but that is just my opinion. Thanks so much for your entry
-
I'm a little confused as to the meaning of this poem. To me, it almost reminds me of those old video games with warp tunnels and such, lol.
-
'Perhaps' is a perfect title to this thoughtful write. Considering the obvious is often a human failing or frailty. Well conceived and as always, uniquely presented in your inimitable style. Love it. Peace, and best of luck in the contest. Rhonda
-
Cool
I like this I get the image of god beaming you up to heaven like Scoty on Star Trek and you find that instead of the pearled gates god has a revolving door and then he sees your not ready to go into heaven he beams you back down. I like the last line "perhaps you are existing at my residence" Hey budy I hope you got your vacuming and dusting done before he arrived lol..lol..lol.
Kevin
-
You always twist the prompt in a very interesting way. This one is no exception. Loved the last stanza and the imaginary.
-
Yours is a very interesting and creative take on the prompt. I love the repeting of "Oh, God" at the end of the piece. I fend it to be very effective and powerful! Good luck in the contest!
-
Interesting take on the prompt. Excellent write!
Good luck with the contest!
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
