Blizzard-like tyranny
engulfs the streets,
why will the Sun not
meet my star-crossed gaze?
I look inside and
you're all I see;
no flesh no bones
no rain no snow,
just two beating hearts
entwined
in heaven.
Author notes
Take what you like from this one, think about it, then throw a comment my way if you please 
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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This is beautiful!
"entwined/ in heaven" and ironically called "The Atheist".
I do love irony.
While I'm not sure what you meant or didn't mean by this, I feel the first stanza is about the lack of happiness caused by not receiving the love described in the second stanza...
But that's just what I got from this!
Great write!!!
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ahh theres nothin like starting a day with a little irony
thanks for commenting and being unsure of what was and wasnt meant is fine - im not entirely sure myself Thanks for the comment!
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aww. i really like this. =D
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a nice write for love . . goddess . . liked "you're all I see" and "just two beating hearts entwined in heaven" . .
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great poem well done x
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i like this very much. descriptive.
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that was very sensory and i liked it
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it is very... i dunno how to describe it, um, touching? yeah touching! it is really good
"just two beating hearts entwined in heaven." that is my favorite part in the entire thing... good write
I L-O-V-E IT!!!!!
very awesomest!! otay? thx for this very good write
i enjoyed it very much
~lola -
this makes me feel something, and I don't even know what that is
thought-provoking
I feel like I'd have to really think about this one to get it at all
man, good stuff
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thanks a lot for your comment, and the idea of this poem making you feel something that you dont seem to understand is really what I was going for IF you re-read this piece you can pull several different meanings from it, none of them wrong, so its not that you hae to really think its more just focus one one thing and try and relate. Thanks again
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Love these lines:
"just two beating hearts
entwined
in heaven."
Very visual and thought provoking! Keep it up!
Amber
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i loved the lines
"you're all I see;
no flesh no bones
no rain no snow,
just two beating hearts"...
im not sure what you meant by this poem, but i really loved it. it comes across to me as a lost love poem. but maybe im wrong? either way its an excellent write!
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hm.....Not quite sure what it means but i love the desription!
Great!
~Seasonings
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um........ I don't really get it (I don't get alot of things though ). but I guess it's ok.
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thanks for reading, but dont lose sleep haha (not that you actually would) i didnt really expect many people to understand it; im not even sure i do myself even though it is personal and real. ... now you confused me haha :S
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how did I confuse you?
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mmmk......didn't really understand but i guess that happens sometimes. nothing really grabbed me as far as i am concerned. Atheist? why that title? seemed pretty christian to me.
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thanks for commenting, and dont worry about not understanding it lol its pretty abstract
it does seem pretty christian doesnt it... but it isnt I am an atheist but I believe in heaven. However, my idea of heaven is not life after death but merely a kind of... euphoric state in this life.
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Great opening stanza...very deep and thought provoking...it says so much of the closeness of another in the last stanza...strong and well written in brevity...best
mystic
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a brillaint concept of a poem, the last paragraph is really something
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I know what it is to be an atheist...I'll let that thought hang, and you can take from it what you will...
Little I will say, except, excellent imagery...you create the picture inside my mind...As I read the words, they painted the scenery, the characters, the story, the meaning. I liked it.
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i don't get it yet i do. i love it yet i dont understand it. lol but after reading it a few times i kinda get it. excellent write.
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thanks for commenting, and in all honesty I didn't expect anyone to entirely get it unless they really really tried (which i also didnt expect lol) but its more of an absract piece focusing not as much on what is said but how and why.
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the more i read it the more i get it. lol
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