I was broke down and stranded
near the Lorado of my past
Needed to talk to somebody
and it was funny you should ask
When you came along; when you came along.
Was put in charge of nuthing
from the moment of my birth
Condemned to life in prison
and placed upon this earth
and you came along and you came along.
Now it's funny how life is
with all the water and the rain
people still die of thirst here
in a life of only pain; in a life of falling rain.
Some folks look for Heaven
Some find it on this earth
Me, I got no religion
and had no natural birth; had no natural birth.
well it's a hard time rowing
in all this water and this rain
and there's no way of knowing
if the oars will take the strain
if the oars can take the strain.
It sure ain't no heaven
although may not be hell
there's no way of knowing
sometime only time will tell
only time will tell; only time will tell
Well I was broke down and stranded
seems like from the moment of my birth
seems like I had no friend here
as I wander on this earth
til you came along; 'til you came along
so glad you came along.
A contest entry
- Pen me a song ( contest ) by Riftkin.
725 points, ended October 5, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
I'm with Becca on this one... All we need is music..
Well done on the HM
-
I can see this as a fantastic song! I loved it! Hey...? I'd buy it in a second!
becca
-
Excellent. Well written and it sounds like a song when you read it. Just wonder what instruments would be suit it? Something bluesy I should think.
-
wonderful thoughts here
thank you for entering
Riftkin
-
Damn, this seems a lot like a song, MC. I think it's just plain fantastic and the meaning of it is very good, too. I think it flows like a song, especially the 'and then you came along, and then you came along' line. I love it and that is a good thing--hence, love is a good thing.
I will read more of your stuff... and I do believe I know what you mean with the voices thing, too. I just wasn't sure at first, as I am not a lot of things. People learn, though. It's called growing up. I guess you could say that everyone is still growing up in some way.
-
This is a wonderful song. I'd love to hear it put to music! Your chosen words are choice and full of depth. Great luck to you in the contest!
-
Hey great song you did really good on this!!!! Good Luck in the contest
-
This one hell of a song; the lyric are wonderful, full of meaning...about life's up & downs...and a reason to live.......excellent write....
novy
-
Even better now!!! I like the additions you did! Makes a really good song! Great job
-
Oh my gosh!! This is so good!!!
-
Wow! This is great mcfreeman! You did a wonderful job on this one!
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
